So it feels like I have a lot to say lately.. =||
Humm, I am enjoying writing in here again though.
Oh memoriess being written is kinda lovely.
I am back to loving life, it's amazing what talking can dooo. Me and Brad cuddled and napped together a little bit yesterday, that was hugely lovely. A few days ago I climbed on top of him and we kissed all passionately (usually we just give each other lame goodbye peck kisses) and he got hard. It was supposed to be just a goodnight kiss. xD That drove me nuts since I had to leave him knowing "thattt" and I've been craving sex for like everrr and I had to be a good little girl and climb into my lonely recliner so that I and Alex don't wake him and Kailynn all night. I wasn't allowed to have sex yet too because it wasn't 6 weeks after I had Alex. Hum, =] Brad bought condomss for us today. Tehehehahar.
Ughh, I am just loving life so much right noww. I feel like I can just be myselffff and be happy being myself. I don't care what others think about me. I already have my hubby, I don't need to please anyone else. I did my nails all pretty todayyy, for some reason that makes me really happy. They are pink and black. Brad hasn't yelled at me for anything stupid since our fight on Sundayy. We both are in way better moods, like we can just laugh stupid things off instead of getting annoyed. We played Mortal Combat, that was fun. <3 He beat me three times, though I did win one round.
This strange thought came to my mind today.. I was wondering if there is a God, if maybe he is rewarding me kinda for not committing suicide back when I really wanted to. Back when my mother abused me daily and I was picked on at school. Like life just seems to be running really smoothly for me, even after the big fights me and Brad have. It's just my own thoughts that make it hard for me to not fight with Brad.
I feel so lucky to have him and my kids, they are perfect. He was so easy to find, I didn't have to go on a million dates to find the right one. And he gave me the most perfect kids.
I'm lucky to have my friend that I can trust with anything.
If I wasn't still alive I would never know that I can almost forgive my mom for everything and that we could get along and I am really grateful for that.
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