For Sale

My dad is selling a bunch of junk because he needs more money for the house repairs. He got me to take pictures of his rototiller and grandma's monte carlo to post up on craigslist. He's also thinking about having a yard sale on Monday.

I might try selling some things, I don't know what yet.

He's also thinking about selling the fence in back of their new house since he wants to build a bigger privacy fence around the two places together.. he plans on making all the yards one big piece of land, it'll make it easier for him to mow the lawns and junk. Makes me mad though, I wanted to just use that backyard for the summer to make it easier for me to keep Kailynn in one area.

He also told me that Alyssa is going to move up here. That will be kinda neat to have sis back in the neighborhood, maybe we can do our late night walks again.

Brad is currently frustrating me.. he is flipping because he can't get past this part on a video game. Gr, guys are lame. -.-

Yesterday Was Odd

It was odd because I didn't spend much time on the internet.. which felt really good. I felt like I had a life worth living for kinda. I wasn't just sitting on my couch, watching tv or doing something online or taking care of Kailynn. =] It was good. I wish I could have more days like it.. The nice weather probably helped a lot.

Some really big news, my parents won the house next door! How exciting and weird to think my parents own two houses now.. well to be more precise they own three properties.. the big slice of land next door to my parents didn't come with the house. (they'll own five properties when my grandma passes away but luckily she's really healthy for her age so that won't happen anytime soon (she plans on giving my dad her little house and the cleaners since he's helped her so much with anything that needed to be worked on)) anndd when my parent's pass away they'll pass it all down to me and I'll be responsible to split the profits with all my sisters and brother. But whooo knows, things can change.

Anywaysss, they won the house next door for $7200. Cheapp, Brad and I are thinking about using one of our tax returns to buy a house through the auction.. hopefully we can get a decent one.. or one that has people already living in it so we don't have to do that much work to it..(bad thing about that is that we'd have to evict them =\\) Another bad thing about buying a house that needs some work through the auction is that they require you to fix any code violations within the month you get it.. or they will fine you. That prevents people from just gutting out houses and leaving it to rot, etc. The house next door has a few violations like the roof.. my parents already knew about them though. That's kinda good in a way because that kinda forces my dad to fix it up fast so they can move in and we can move downstairs before the baby is born. xD

Legally my dad isn't supposed to be working on it yet.. even though he bought it it's still kinda considered trespassing.. they need to get the final word from the bank or something... not sure.. but it's not like anyone around here knows that and they all know my dad so it's not like some random person is monkeying around in the neighborhood. Yesterday my dad already started doing yard work, he mowed the lawn and cut a bunch of branches off from the trees. I think he plans on actually cutting down all the trees today. So yes, I am glad they bought it.. that house has a small fence around the yard and it makes it so much easier to keep Kailynn safe.. we were outside like all day back there. It's not that great right now.. the yard is really cushiony because the lawn really needed mowing so there's like LOTS of cut up grass (like a 3 inch layer) just laying around.. there's also huge branches mixed in the grass because a tree was struck by lightning and left chunks of wood everywhere. There's also like a little jungle in the corner of a strange plant or tree.. my dad was saying to dress Kailynn up like tarzan or something and take pictures of her in it.

Hahar, I didn't though.. my cameras are like all full, I don't like deleting thingsssssss because I'm afraid something will break so that I won't have access to them. Blehhhhhhh.

Brad had his step dad stop over and help him replace his radiator so that's good now. They also tried fixing his lights.. they've been collecting moisture inside them for some reason.. not sure if it actually worked yet..

After Brad fixed his car he started drinking.. blehh. I got upset because I knew he'd eventually leave me home, he doesn't invite me to do anything with him on the weekends anymore. =[[ He's lame and it makes me mad because I know he hides shit from me.. like I found out something but I don't even want to announce it to the world. Makes me want to cry because I'm pretty sure Brad does it every time he goes to Bamas when I'm not around..

But this weekend he ended up getting Alyssa to babysit Kailynn so that I could go with.. I thought we were going to go midnight bowling but we went to bars instead. First Dugans.. nothing was going on there but a few people playing pool.. I couldn't play pool because everyone else had the tables and quarters set. =[ Brad knew some dude he calls porkchop.

We left after Brad had a drink.. we noticed a bar next to it called Mojo's seemed like a bunch of people were at.. there was a band playing.. Black Mountain Symphony I think is what it was called. They were really good, the girl played violin. Brad had a couple drinks there.. this really friendly dude named Andy talked to us for a bit.. he noticed that I was pregnant and asked when I was due and junk.

We left there to go to one of Brad's friends place.. that was kinda strange.. we knocked on the door and someone came to the door and asked us who we were without opening it.. they had a light on, they then turned the light off and ignored us.. than some woman came up the steps.. Brad thinks they were doing a drug deal or something.. Lame.

So we went to Bamas.. he wasn't home but we found him across the street at someone else's place.. Their place was really tiny and crowded and gross. The guy that lived there was hugely intoxicated and kept falling so Brad and Bama were like my bodyguards -.- trying to keep me safe because I was pregnant.. it made me feel little or something like I was a baby and I couldn't protect myself from a drunk man.... than we went back to Bamas and played a dice game, Brad got irritated with Bama so we went home.

Since Brad was really intoxicated and Alyssa didn't really want to take a cab we took my car.. she drove to her place and I drove back home alone. Lol she said my car is a boat again.. she thinks it's huge, it's only huge when compared to hers. Her's is really tiny. I had a kinda creepy moment driving home.. there was a deer in the middle of the street looking straight at me.. like I couldn't see her whole body.. just the front of her (I'm pretty sure it was a female because she was big and had no antlers), so there was like only two legs I could see.. to me before I got close to it, it looked like a person just standing there. That thought just kinda freaked me out even though it was just a deer.

Oh yeah before me and Brad left for our little adventure, my parents were gone for a little bit to eat dinner, when they came back it was dark.. I went back outside with Kailynn, that was the first time she played outside at night. She was amazed by the little light up butterflies my mom has out front, they change color. Lol she kept talking to them.. and pointing to them... there's only two but they are like far away from one another so she kept running back and forth to both of them.

My Shyness

I was just reading a blog about shyness. I haven't even finished reading it but this line struck gold to me...

"Did you not get enough attention as a child or maybe too much, so you learned to be quiet and invisible?"

I could never figure out why I am so shy or quiet.. until now... I really think that could be the reason why. When I was little I didn't want to attract any attention from my mother because I was afraid I'd do something wrong. I was too afraid to say anything wrong and make her angry. I used to choose my words carefully, making sure I didn't make the wrong impression on her. To escape any type of pain I just wanted to be invisible in her eyes.

My mother taught me to keep my mouth shut.

A lot of people say shy people have a fear of criticism and that never seemed to really pertain to me. I don't mind going out in public wearing no makeup. Even though I know I may look like crap and other people will judge me the idea doesn't really bother me that much.. like when I went to my doctor's appointment.. I didn't think I looked all that great because I didn't put much effort in my appearance. I knew I didn't look that pleasant but as soon as I left I didn't feel embarrassed or anything. I don't know.. maybe it could be a slight reason. I know I am a very emotional person and if I find out someone is talking bad about me I can easily cry. Like when CJ and I went for a walk she told me that Brad is related to Kasey's sister.. I'm not really sure how Kasey's sis and Brad are related.. it confused me when CJ and Brad were figuring it out.. probably because I don't know the names to everyone on his side of the family yet. Anyways CJ told me that Kasey's sister told CJ that one of Brad's aunt and uncle doesn't like me.. I'm not sure of their names but I know who they are.. I guess they don't like me because I couldn't get Kailynn to stop crying while we were at Brad's Aunt Brenda's to celebrate Christmas... which pisses me off because if I had it my way we would of left when Kailynn started getting grumpy but Brad wanted to hang out longer since he only sees them on xmas. She was so cranky she didn't open any of their gifts.. we just packed them up and opened them the next day at home.. if that's the reason they were mad I'd understand but it's not the easiest thing to get a 1 year old to stop crying because she wants to go to sleep in her bed and I definitely tried getting her to stop but nothing was working. =\ But I ended up crying finding that out. Finding that out just makes me not want to go over there this year. I will definitely act differently towards them and I couldn't careless if I'm a bitch.

Huge Update, Hooray.

Is it lame that I haven't yet posted about yesterday and I still don't feel like it? Ughh, I am being lazy I guess.
I'll start off by talking about today real quick since only one thing interesting really happened. Well I guess I could say a few things.
First thing which really made my day was this little raccoon guy that I found out on my porchhh. He was so cute. I wanted to pet him and keep his fluffy, cute little teddy bear ear self but I am obviously smart enough not to. He acted friendly but I'm afraid he would of been mean if there was nothing in between him, Kiki and myself. He probably would of torn my kitty to pieces. I don't even know if it was a boy.. just seems cuter to think so I guess. I will probably post the short video clip I recorded of him/her once I upload it to youtube. Once Kailynn falls asleep. Hmhmhm.
Also today my parents left around 3 to watch Alaynie run track.. I guess she came up 4th but she was against all the good people from all the other schools. She's been really good at it, she came up 1st on 200 meeter hurdles the other time she went. I'm thinking it was her last track meet today because they gathered all the best kids to compete against one another. But yes, I had to be outside and wait for Aiden's bus to arrive since they weren't home.. the bus kinda tricked me because I swear he usually goes up the street beside our house not on the street in front. I was outback and heard a horn and ran up front to see if it was the bus, sure enough it was and the driver was already out and about to knock on the door. -.- Lamer. But yes while I was outback I had Kailynn with me.. I put her on the trampoline all by herself... at first she walked/ran and figured out that it was bouncy so she did tiny little hops. I climbed on and did slight little hops sitting down.. I figured little bounces won't hurt the baby. I hope not. <> Lol she loved it. I wish I recorded it but I still can't find my camcorder.. I used the camcorder on my cybershot camera to record the raccoon. That's about it for today.
Yesterday I went to my doctor's appointment, found out I gained 10 pounds.. I weighed 140 exactly. It's funny because I made sure I ate a lot so I know I would gain weight and not lose again.. I didn't want to gain that much weight though.. <> ugh. They have a new weight thing though so who knows if the old one was more correct or just failed or if this one is giving me some extra pounds.. before they had one of them old fashioned ones that had little weight things you move around.. this one is digital.. the next time I think will be more accurate as a way to find how much weight I gained since it's the same machine. I did all the usual crap, my doctor asked me if I found out if it was a boy or girl.. told her it's a boy. She told me a lot of her patients are having boys. Hahar. She had a hard time finding his heartbeat for some reason.. took her a couple minutes.. she kept getting mine. I told her I knew he's still alive because right before I walked in he was moving around.. than he kicked her little tool thing and she found it. lool. She also told me that the ultrasound figured my due date was the 21st not the 19th.. but my doctor sticks with the original date since it's close anyways. So I'm glad to hear that since that means my baby is where he's supposed to be at pretty much. =]] (I always get scared I'm not giving him enough essential nutrients.) The ultrasound pretty much said the same thing for Kailynn. She was due for the the 14th of August but they figured the 16th and she was born on the 18th. 4 days late. After my appointment I looked for my cell in my purse and thought I lost it.. all the nice nurses were trying to help me find it.. then one got the bright idea to use the offices phone to call it and see if we could hear it.. we didn't. I was afraid it might of fell out onto the seat in the waiting room and someone took it.. So I ended up using their phone to call my dad. My dad was like "forgot to grab your phone?".. it was in his van and he heard it ring in there -.- loll. Glad I didn't lose it.
After my appointment and once we got done eating dinner Brad and I went out driving to practice, k turns and parallels. I did two parallels and one K turn. I'm pretty much pro at K turns now.. I just need more confidence for parallels. One parallel was with only one car and the other I went in between two cars.. I was so proud of myself for making it in.. and I did it downtown in medium traffic. =] There was a car behind me before I could do it so when I signaled.. they pulled around me. I always got nervous of that idea.. having someone behind me and not knowing what to do.. I don't really need to do anything but use my turning signal so they know what I am attempting to do and they can just go around me.
I realized a lame thing about my car though.. you can't see the trunk from the inside front seat because of the way it's built.. luckily I know it's really tiny. But you can't really see if your back end is close to the car behind you. Lameee.

Random Walk with CJ

Todayyy was a pretty good day. CJ called me around 4 pm because she was bored and was just sitting outside reading. She told me she was hungry.. I offered her a hot pocket, lol. She decided to come down here to give me company. Brad ended up coming home early too, they both arrived here at the same time.

So we ended up going for a walk around a couple blocks since Kailynn was asleep and Brad was home.. When we got on Willard CJ stopped and talked to some dude that she knew.. I want to say his name was Matt. I'm not sure, I forgot. <> He seemed cool.. While we were talking a dude walked by us and CJ's friend told us that he's a child molester.. and has a doberman dog that he walks.. as soon as he said that he had a doberman I got kinda nervous.. not many people here have dobermans.. & I'm always seeing a guy walking a doberman around my place. I feel like I should warn my parents.. since my sister's are always running around outside.. I probably will once I get done writing this. So after a little more chit chat with Matt or whomever, we continued on walking back to my place... sat at the picnic table my parents have set outside and talked more about random junk. Than CJ left because Corry was on his way to pick her up..

I went back upstairs and Brad woke Kailynn up so that we could go get groceries. It's kinda funny because Brad and I were kinda both kinda excited to do grocery shopping with my car since it has a trunk that actually works.. Brad's back door handle on his truck was broken ever since we got it so it was always a pain in the butt to pack groceries in it. It's funny because it's such a simple little thing we were looking forward too.

We spent way too much on groceries.. Tops must be a lot more expensive than Walmart because we don't usually spend that much money on one weeks worth of groceries when we go to Walmart.

The cashier dude was really talkative/friendly. He gave Kailynn an orange paid sticker, lol I put it on her nose and she took it off and put it on mine.

I think I'm finally good with reversing... I just needed to read crap to figure it out since Brad wasn't very good at teaching me nicely. >=\ I pulled out of my parking spot going the right direction =]]

Yesterday was Mother's Day

Yesterday was a pretty good day.. besides me being sick the night before.. I barely got any sleep.. so I slept in a little since Brad was home. Brad eventually woke me up with two cards in his hands. <3 One from "Kailynn" and one from him. So cute. I love him.

So I got two cards, a car, and dinner at Pizza Hut for Mother's Day.. One of the best days everrrrr in my opinion.

Before we left for Pizza Hut we noticed the parents were also trying to figure out where to go to eat so we kinda tried to do something together but I don't think the parents wanted to go out to Lakewood but we needed to because we had to take a battery thing back that would help pay for dinner. I drove with my carrrrrr. Brad got annoyed with me again. >=\ He says I stop too abruptly and I know I don't... I slowly come to a stop until it finally stopss and there's like barely any jerk. I wish he'd ride with CJ.. that was bad breaking. <3 Hahar. Love her though.

Is it really dumb to get confused on driving reverse? I don't know for some reason I don't know which way to turn my wheel if I want to reverse and turn to get out of like a parking spot.. Ugh. It makes me feel really dumb. Brad just usually flips out on me if I turn the opposite direction he wants me to go.. that doesn't help.. makes me forget what I did and I can't learn from it. Sigh.. He wanted me to "straighten out my car" when I parked at Pizza Hut it looked straight to me so I pulled out and did it again.. What he meant was he wanted me to park closer to the vehicle beside us cause he thought I was too close to the other side. He fails at talking car lingo to me. =\\

I don't like driving with him.

Right = right left = left just like going forwardssssssss. I think I get confused because I realize that the front is going the opposite direction so it drives my senses whack.

Finally Got My Car

Yay, I am happy now because my car is finally mine and is staying here forever. =]

Except Brad is taking it to work tomorrow so he can show it off. -.-

And the dealer guy took off the filter thing that was broken in front and gluing that back together so he's going to pick that up after work. =] I don't really get why the dealer guy feels like he needs to do it... figured it would be something little I had to take care of.

One lame thing though is he didn't fix the fuel gauge.. so I won't really know how much gas I have until it dings when it's low or check the high techness of it... it like tells you everything about the car on the dash thing. Like if your tire pressure is good, how many miles you can go with the gas in the tank, how good the oil is... etc. Neat stuff. <3

My first letters on my plate is FML... lol.. eff my life. Brad's is FML too. Brad put these cover things on the plates to make them darkish and better looking. Stupid, ugly orangish/yellow New York plates.

I might go out and play with the lights when everyone is asleep. xD

Osama Is Deadddddddd

Yayyy, about time we found him... took long enough..

Anywayssssss, I drove my car alone today xD Well Kailynn was with me.. Devin rode with Brad. Brad had to drop his car off to a garage place to get it worked on but since he didn't know exactly where the place was but had the address (he found it in the phone book and asked if they could do what he needed) he followed me since I had my gps.

Lol, he gets so frustrated with my gps because he doesn't know how to use it... so I always have to stop and do it myself. I became pro on it in like a day. Woot woot.

It's kinda hard to find a good place to put my gps because my windshield is hugely slanted, I've been putting it like right next to my rear view mirror thing. I also had to use my windshield wipers for the first time. Now I know how to use that and control the speed, like if it's down pouring make it go fast, if it's light rain.. slow.

Now I need to figure out my lights... I guess they have auto daylight lights?? or something... yea, I don't know.. not like they are really needed... I need to know about what lights to use when it's dark, k thanks. Stupid Auto (I'd probably go to Auto if I didn't read in the manual that if I like drive by a bright light my lights might go out... -.- Stupid sensor.) and like 3 other choices and than stupid brights and fog... wtf, way to have like a gazillion craps. Way to have a husband that doesn't know anything and just experiments or chooses by what he thinks looks right... -.- Oh and one of my front fog lights don't work but I should be fine as soon as I know how to turn them off so I don't go driving around looking lame with an unnecessary light out.

I'm a car noob, leave me alone xD Like none of the symbols make any sense to me..The pop trunk and pop gas door are kinda obvious though... Lol Gr, I will learn.

After we dropped the car off and then Devin home, I drove to McDonalds for Mcflurries. Yum, Oreoo foreverrrrrrrrr. Brad got annoyed because he thought I parked too far from the wwindow.. it wasn't even that far away -.- too bad my power steering was acting up so I couldn't really steer closer to the wall easily and he must of forgot that I worked drive thru a lot, there's people that are far worse than me. While we were waiting for them to be made I told Brad how I wished people that I knew were working drive thru today so I could show it off xD hum, hum, hum. The only people who have seen it so far is Sis, Devin, Dad, Uncle Joey, Brad's step brother Richard and Brad's Stepdad.

New Bed, Chinese, Aunts

Yesterday was a bit of a rush... Brad came home for lunch and told me that we were having a bed delivered here between 1pm - 3pm and it was going to be bigger so I had to make more room for it. So I took Kailynn's little toy box out from the corner of the living room and put it in her room and moved the couch over.. The guys didn't show up until it was almost 3, I had to sign a couple things because it was brand new or something.. I don't know. They just left the bed standing up in the corner.. even though I really shouldn't of had, I put the bed together.
The mattress itself was like 100 pounds. I was just going to but the box board down so I knew how much room it needed because it didn't look like there was enough space for it but the mattress ended up falling into the middle of the living room and I couldn't just leave it there because we couldn't go around it or anything. That thing was so heavy and took me awhile to maneuver it.
I really hope the baby is okay... I'm always scared I'm going to kill the baby by lifting heavy things because everyone at work made sure I didn't have to pick up anything heavy when I was pregnant and working.. (I just looked it up and I guess the danger of lifting heavy things is not for the baby but for the mother because your center of gravity has changed and you might not be able to balance yourself with the extra weight so you can could fall and hurt yourself or even the baby.) I thought it would cause premature separation of the placenta but I guess not and I'm not spotting so that's good.

Mom came up here around 6 pm and asked if I wanted to go to chinese and I told her yeah but I'd have to make Brad's dinner first. So I made it and got Kailynn ready for dinner. Brad got home and noticed the bed and noticed it was extremely high up and he sat on it and said he didn't like how high up it was.. than I told him that I was going out to eat with Mom and he got pissed. >=\ "We were supposed to eat dinner together" Yeah well what about the weekends? You don't give a shit about eating with me then. "I'm not going to pay you this week if you leave" "Who's going to feed Kailynn?" "I'm not eating because you are ruining it" Whateverrrrrrrr. He tries to control everything I do and it makes me mad.. like every time I try going somewhere without him he gives me a hard time about it. Can't believe he got so mad at me for just wanting to eat Chinese with my mother.. So I have a feeling he's probably going to ditch me this weekend to drink and leave Devin the brat with me again. Whatever.

So I left anyways just to prove that he can't and won't control me. Dad dropped us off there. Got our table and ate and talked about random stuff like the food on our plate, she had white strings things on her plate and I asked what it was.. she said rice noodles and it was good and offered me some but I didn't try it. Talked about how she tried to make egg drop soup and it ended up being a disaster.

Than I brought up the Aunts. Linda got out of the hospital yesterday, I guess they let her. My Aunt Pam is getting a cage screwed to her head on Monday for the surgery she's getting.. The cage is to make sure she doesn't move at all because I guess they are using some type of laser like thing to burn it up so that the tumor doesn't grow anymore.. guess it'll stay in there. I guess if they tried opening her brain up to get it out she would die so they are doing something similar to neurosurgery but different and called something else but I forgot the name of it. The cage sounds really scary because they will obviously numb her for when the screws first goes in but once it hits her skull it's going to hurt a lot... because you can't really numb bone.. and they can't knock her out completely because they need her to be awake to make sure they haven't hit anything important during the laser part.. so I'm guessing they'll probably have her sing the alphabet or wiggle some body parts or something to make sure she's okay, scary stuff. =\\\\ She said she heard someone getting it done also and they were screaming their heads off =| Not sure how true that is.. I guess they found the tumor because she lost all hearing in one of her ears. =\\

So that was our dinner conversation basically, I went home to a dark hallway and the door locked, luckily I figured he was going to be jerk and had my keys in my sweater so I didn't have to possibly look for them in my purse in the dark.. He was laying in bed and the bed didn't have the baseboards anymore so it was lower.. than I waited for K to fall asleep and I went to sleep.

Green Heels

I think missing that day has made posting here everyday a little less appealing. x|

Hm, well I've been addicted to polyvore again. I get in these artsy moods every once in awhile and I just want to put something pretty together. Polyvore helps me do that but without the messy house. =]]

Fairytale by onbrokenwingz on Polyvore.com

Here's something I just got done making. I love it, I really LOVE the heels, I am so thinking about wearing some heels like that on the day we actually have our wedding ceremony junk. It's weird because I think I'll feel more comfortable (and maybe a little devious >;] ) if I have a little secret under my dress like brightly colored shoes. Just knowing that I am walking down an isle with brightly colored shoes that no one else can see might distract me enough with happyness without crying. I loveee the color lime green. It's my fave.

We went to walmart today to get groceries and a few other things like my picturesss. Now I just need to go through them and put them in my album. There's still more pictures I need developed, like ones closer to the day she was born. Right now I got pictures developed from like 4 months till now.

Also bought Kailynn some summer clothes... Hope they are not too big.. I got 3T which I believe is supposed to fit 3 year olds and she's only one but she'll be 2 in August... I just want them to last her awhile.. hopefully maybe they'll last for a couple summers... I got her this really brightly colored yellow dress. Jen might like it since her favorite color is yellow, not sure if it depends on it being bright or pale and I also know she's liking the color brown.. so heh. It's so cute, I love dresses on Kailynn, plus they are so easy to put on her and clean.. it's just one item of clothing. Also bought her a pair of white sandal like things.. cute. Total cost: like $53. Bleh, whatever, she needed it. They didn't really have any shorts out yet, they had some but barely any and I looked for her size but found nothing.

Brad ordered the movie Tangled on satellite, that was a cute movie, definitely wouldn't mind buying it for Kailynn. Brad loved the chameleon and the horse. The movie kinda makes me want a chameleon even though obviously it wouldn't be as cute. Still would be kinda neat to have, I'd want to watch it change into a million colors but in real life they probably only do that when they are scared or feel threatened. If it only needed a few sticks to climb on and a lamp and a few grasshoppers to eat it would seem like an easy pet. Not sure what they eat actually, I'd obviously look more into it before buying.

I think I am going alittle nuts over animals.. =| First a goat.. now a chameleon. gfakdjg But the one on Tangled was soo cute. <3 Brad wants fish. Big fish in a big tank, not sure what exactly but I believe he's more interested in the salt water kind and they seem like a pain in the butt to take care of.. at least I am not sure where you can get salt water because I highly doubt you have can just make it yourself with table salt <> plus I think it needs to be cleaned a lot in order to keep the fishies happy.
K Goodbye, I will just cuddle with my two bratty cats for now.

Another Boring Day

Hmm, not sure what I should write about today...
We got Devin for the weekend, we usually get him every other weekend unless it's the weekend of either mine or Brad's birthday, then we'll get him two weekends in a row before the birthday weekend.

He lives with Brad's stepdad because Brad's real mom took custody of Devin when he was like 3 months old. Janelle (Devin's mom) had post partum depression at the time and Brad was in jail so neither of them could really take good care of him. Jenelle passed away when Devin was 3 in a car accident coming home from work. I'm not really sure what happened though I know I have asked a few times about it and I don't want to ask again. I just know that she was a back passenger and the car swerved and hit another vehicle and it hit her side, she was the only one that died. I'm pretty sure she was pronounced dead at the scene.

Brad's mom passed away almost 2 years ago because of stomach cancer. She had the cancer for awhile because she had the pain for awhile but doctors kept misdiagnosing her. When they finally found it they gave her 6 months to live if she did chemotherapy but chemotherapy ended up just making it worse and she died in 3 months. 3 months before Kailynn was born so that was really upsetting for me because I know she was excited to have a girl grandchild because she had two boys herself. While she was alive she made a bunch of quilts for Kailynn and I got them at my baby shower after she had already passed away... <3 That was definitely emotional for me, I almost cried but everyone was watching me open the presents and a lot of my friends didn't know who made them and that she passed away. =\\

Anyways reason I brought up Devin is because Brad got him today but he must of been at the farm that Brad's step dad's new girlfriend owns. Brad sent me a picture of the baby goat they have. They just recently had a baby goat and a baby cow born there which I think is kinda neat and I wanna see. I was kinda thinking about maybe asking them if I could adopt a little goat or something small but cute and should be pretty easy to take care of and keep it there but obviously I'd have to work and help pay for the food. It'd be neat and different and make life a little bit more interesting for me. I've always loved animals and I'd love to help out on their farm once I get a car. Brad's not really happy that Devin is turning into a little farm boy because Brad is kinda on the gangster side, wears south pole and 99% of the music he listens to is rap. He probably wouldn't really like me turning into a little farm girl either but whatever that's kinda my dream me.

Just Thinking

I was just laying on the couch in complete darkness just now for a little bit waiting for Kailynn to fall asleep with her daddy, this is actually a normal routine of mine.

Our bed is in our living room because we have a really tiny apartment and once Kailynn was born she pretty much took control of our bedroom. This apartment only has one bedroom. First she kicked Brad out (because he works early in the morning and the alarm clock would wake her up.. he slept on the couch) He quickly got tired of that and decided to move the bed out into the living room so that we could sleep together and he could sleep in a bed again (our bed was noisy anyways so that kinda helped more with keeping her asleep during the night) We haven't moved yet because rent is extremely cheap and it's helping us get other things that we need.

Plus my parents also were thinking about buying the house next door, fixing it and letting us live there.. until my dad tore up his knee at work and now limps whenever he needs to walk, he almost has no cartilage in that knee because he's had so many surgeries on it since his motorcycle accident back when he was a teenager. Because his job requires lots of lifting and transporting things from one place to another he doesn't think he'll last much longer there, they have him doing light duty now because his doctor keeps giving him time to heal but it's obvious it's not going to be normal again. So now he and my mom are planning to move over there if they can get it because he's always wanted a one family house and this may be his last chance. So we are planning on finding a another place and moving sometime in August, before the new baby is born.

Today summed up:
Cleaned till Brad got of work at 6:30 pm.
Went to walmart got more pictures developed.. I believe 78 pictures total.. $11
Looked at jewelry and ended up buying some rings and earrings. $10
Went to arbys drive thru for Kailynn and Brad's dinner.
Went to Chinese restaurant place and got myself some takeout. I always feel kinda strange going in there to get take out because they always want to sit you at a table.. This older guy that was waiting for his friend to stop hitting on the Chinese waitress kept staring at me also. Bleh. OMG but the food was yum.. been craving it for so freaken long. $8.01
Ate dinner, watched a little bit of American Idol and then watched a movie called The Next 3 Days. Good movie.
Now I'm here talking to Jen on lame Facebook chat and updating my journal..
Thinking about watching a couple shaytards.. so later alligators!