Stupid Hoodie

I just need to tell myself that sex isn't everything, I guess. Or maybe just love.. Love isn't everything.

He might love me but he's definitely not good at showing it most of the time. It sucks because there's really only like a few days I ever feel loved and I feel like that's just to keep me around for a little bit longer.

Most of the time he yells at me for stupid reasons. Almost everyday. Makes me wonder why he even likes me if there's so many reasons to yell at me.

A couple days ago he yelled at me for wearing his hoodie. I got so upset. He didn't want me to get it dirty or get cat hair on it... made me feel like he thinks I'm a scumbag or something. I felt like he didn't like me at all, almost disgusted by me, why was it so important to get me out of that hoodie? Like really? It's not hard to throw it in the washer. Way to make a girl feel unloved.

Every girl likes to wear their significant other's hoodie, so it broke my heart. I guess I am only allowed to wear his crap if I've gained 30 lbs because I have a baby growing inside me and can't fit into any of my own clothes. He didn't say that but that's what I get from it.

So I guess I will make sure I never make that mistake ever again, even if it breaks my heart. I will never ask to wear anything of his anymore, even if I'm freezing.

I was wearing it because it was the first thing I saw and I wanted to go outside to talk to my dad. When I got back inside Alex was crying.. the first thing I thought about was to look for a bottle so that I could feed him.. not take off a stupid hoodie.