- I wish you wouldn't talk to him so much. January 2
- I hate feeling left out, and not knowing what is going on. January 2
- Sometimes I wish I could move to somewhere completely new so I can re-invent myself. January 3
- I can't wait to get my computer fixed. January 4
- I like reading. It gives you the freedom to imagine. January 5
- My computer, it's alive again. Yay =] January 5
- Happy 6th Birthday Acayla! Your hugs, kisses, giggles and smiles make my day little one. <3 January 5
- 'Jenny, love me. I am lonely...' 'Ily2, Bird.' =| What' going on? Sigh January 6
- Madly in love. January 6
- I wish I knew what was going on in your head. Or even in mine. January 6
- Be kind to my heart & I'll love you forever. January 6
- You're all I ever wanted. January 6
- So far away for far too long. January 6
- Staying up alone, waiting.. Just so I can possibly talk to my lover. ='] January 7
- I didn't want to leave him, but I knew I'd have to get up early today. January 7
- I don't want to let you down. January 7
- I can't wait till Ally comes for Prom. xD -Squeal!!- January 7
- Yay, Going to the weight room today. I'm excited to exercise. January 8
- I can't stop thinking about him. January 8
- My legs are sore, but it'sworth it in the long run. January 8
- Jenny doesn't think you'll come. Prove her wrong.. Please? January 8
- Darn, I was hoping we'd get a snow day. I really don't feel like going to school. I hope Ally has been going. January 9
- Firefox 2 annoys me. January 9
- Every time I think about you I think about 'it'. January 9
- I hate being so disorganized. January 9
- Yay, 2 more hours to sleep. January 10
- I really need a hair cut, & a magazine. January 10
- I like my mid-back lengthed hair. =| January 10
- Jen is my hero. January 10
- I had a dream that I won a new computer. How lame is that. January 11
- I was looking forward to your singing. =[ January 11
- I love doing math. January 11
- Life is so unfair. January 11
- I'm hating everything right about now. January 12
- I'm going to miss Mr. McKenna. January 12
-'You cried when your mother gave you a trim..' I hope I don't cry. January 12
- I found an old thought I had written on a peice of paper. It made me cry, I just hope it never happens again. January 13
- Falling in love with someone in your dreams, someone you know you can't have, sucks. January 13
- I've never been so frustrated. Actually that is a lie. I've cried once. January 13
- I keep having zombie nightmares.. Maybe they will save me one day. January 14
- No.. << Jen ruins everything. January 14
- I'm in love with my hair. January 14
- For those five minutes, while I was laying there, all I could think about was you. January 14
- The smell of this hair gel is addictive. I can't stop sniffing it. January 14
- So that was the most amazingest video ever, with our non heads & bed humping. January 15
- We saved Jen's fish from the murky water. January 15
- I enjoy eating Jen's chips. & listening to her crunch on them. January 15
to be continued..
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
BT is backkk.
So I am probably going to annoy anyone who might read this because I am going to post all my thoughts on here because I don't trust the site anymore. This is probably going to take me forever.. hum. Oh well.
- I love him so much, I hope he's not cheating on me. ='[ <3 June 3rd 2006
- I miss him greatly. <3 June 3rd 2006
- Suicide, Sometimes.. I wish I could commit. June 3rd 2006
- Nevada <3 June 5th 2006
- I love my Jarhead. June 7th 2006
- I had a dream.. He was cheating on me. It was sad. I cried. It seemed so real. =[ June 11 2006
- <> I almost got arrested yesterday. June 14th 2006
- Aha, Last night was fun. June 15th 2006
- I cant wait to get this over with. Ughhh! =|
- I just want to kill myself right now. I hate this thing called life. A life that doesn't deserve to live. *crying* ='[ I hate my mom. June 15th 2006
- xD He still loves me. <3 June 21st 2006
- He gave me a flower. ='] July 8th 2006
- I hate being depressed. I dont want to cry anymore.. August 26th 2006
- I hope I don't have it. August 28th 2006
- Should I tell my love? August 29th 2006
- Playing Cards on Gaia with my lover. ='] He's so lovely. <3 Opuk <3 August 29th 2006
- Me and Ally actually talked to eachother on phone at Jens house, on Saturday.. For like 3 hours. It was lovely. September 11, 2006 Se
- <3 I hope he's not mad, cause his mom is making him pay the phone bill. Roar at long distance.. =[ September 11, 2006 S
- Alone & Cold =| September 12, 2006 S
- Im afraid of losing him. I love him so much. September 12, 2006
- I miss him. We haven't talked since Saturday =[ 4 days.. September 13th 2006
- WE GOT CABLE!! It's been so long. x'D September 13, 2006
- As soon as I got home I just felt like crying & did.. Lately I've been holding in my tears. Just trying to ignore my feelings and pretend I'm happy.. September 14, 2006
- I dont want to pretend anymore. September 16, 2006
- 9/22/06 Bonfire - 9/23/06 Homecoming Jen doesn't want to go =[ Wish Ally could. September 16, 2006
- I hate being sick. ROAR!! Where is Jen? September 16, 2006
- Roar at Cj. She better not of. I dont even know the dude... or know how to dance with someone.. I feel so lame. September 16, 2006
- No one ever thinks about their pets Oo I love my pets <3 Racy Sylvester Evil & Liberty September 17, 2006
- I still cant beleive I'm a Senior. School goes by way to fast. '07 September 17, 2006
- Where is everyone? ='[ I'm so bored. -sit&wait- & I miss my lover.. sighhhh September 17, 2006
- I dont want to go to school. =| September 18, 2006
- Aw I love my Homecoming dress. <3 It's red. And my mom keeps singing the 'Lady in red' song -.- September 18, 2006
- Where are you? Did you move in with her? Do you like her? These questions are gradually killing me.. Please come back to me. ='[ September 18, 2006
- I can't deal with life .........right now......... ...........Going............ to sleep September 19, 2006
-Homecoming will be interesting... I'm still roaring at CJ. ROAR!@#P% -.- September 20, 2006
- Americas Next Top Model. I'm addicted to this show <3 September 20, 2006
- Dont judge a book by its cover. The cover may be better then the actual story. September 21, 2006
- I dont want to go to the homecoming any more. I dont think anyone is going =[ September 21, 2006
- I love how my thoughts are randomly colored. September 21, 2006
- Today was lots of fun hanging with Ashley. Everyone was leaving once we got at the bonfire, they had just put it out early. -.- September 23, 2006
- It felt odd having Ashley drive me home. I have never ridden in a car with someone my age driving until today. I cant wait to get my license. <3 September 23, 2006
- 80 more days till my 18th birthday. <3 Woo! September 23, 2006
- I cried in every slow song. =[ September 24, 2006
- <|3 I feel so alone. September 25, 2006
- I think about committing suicide everyday. September 26, 2006
-Yup, I do beleive he likes her. <|3 Isn't that just lovely.. ='[ September 27, 2006
- All this college shit is overwhelming me. So many things to do in so little time and still I'm not 100% sure of what I want to do with my life. Roarr!@#$ September 28, 2006
- Today some random dude at school asked me if I was single.. xD September 29, 2006
- RANDOM THOUGHT: If I have children my goal is to be the best mommy/wife ever. September 30, 2006
- I dont want winter to come. I hate the snow and coldness it brings. I want to move south. With Ally of course.. September 30, 2006
- Winter coats annoy me. Especially when shopping. October 1 2006
- I dont feel worthy of his love. I'm so lame. I've never actually had a boyfriend & dont really know what the heck I'm doing or what I should be doing. =[ October 1 2006
- Aw he sent me a lovely song. -listen to it 598 times- x'D Yup, I'm in love. October 1 2006
- I'm so glad we talked last night. October 1 2006
- I dont think Ally knows I'm basically flat chested. October 1 2006
- Wo, How is it 11 already? Oo Where is Ally? =[ I need him. & I need to sleep. October 1 2006
- I hate my gym class. I dont talk to anyone there. I played basketball all by myself. At one point I twisted my foot trying to get the ball and now it really hurts. =[ October 2 2006
- I'm Running Out Of Thoughts.. & Colors. October 3 2006
- I Love Rain <3 October 4 2006
- Yeah so I think my house is haunted.. =[ Something just touched my hip twice and nothing was there...HELP? October 4 2006
- Why are my hands always cold? =[ October 5 2006
- What time is it Mr. Fox? October 6 2006
- Lets romp. October 6 2006
- I'm addicted to drinking water <3 October 7 2006
- I really beleive that I will fail in all my dreams. My dreams are the only things that are keeping me alive. October 7 2006
- I <3 The Lion King October 7 2006
- I wonder if anyone ever reads my thoughts. Or are lame as me and read their own thoughts a million times. xD October 7 2006
- Today my dad sold his '72 Chevy Chevelle for $1800. I feel bad for him. He had it since I was born and the only thing he has left to remember his friend. October 8, 2006
- My dad is the best dad on this planet. October 8, 2006
- I should listen to this type of high energy music more often. It's fun. I want to spend night at Jennys but Matt is being mean. But it'sK!! <3 I will live. I promise. October 8, 2006
- Really missing Ally right now. ='[ I wonder if he ever thinks about me.. October 9, 2006
- I wonder if he loves me as much as he says.. Or if it's just a big lie/joke. October 9, 2006
- He's probably getting drunk and sexing 209385 girls. =| Long distance love sucks. October 9, 2006
- I feel bad for taking my dads money. But he keeps offering me it in exchange for cleaning. =| October 9, 2006
- Telling myself not to cry isn't easy. I'm trying to stay positive. October 9, 2006
- Aw, My dad cried watching the movie Click <3 October 14, 2006
- I'm too emotional. October 14, 2006
- Chillen with Jen. Listening to AFI. Glorious.. <3 October 15 2006
- No Raviolios ='[ October 15, 2006
- I love shopping. October 15 2006
- About to scream. October 15 2006
- Green is my favorite color. October 15 2006
- I can't find my glasses. School will be interesting... Ughh October 16 2006
- I know that if I ever get married I'd stay 100% faithful and I'd fight to keep us together till the very end. October 16 2006
- Sometimes when you get upset or angry it seems like your taking it out on me. It's really unfair. October 16 2006
- I want my very own happily ever after ending. October 17, 2006
- I wonder why he doesn't come on anymore to talk to me. I wonder if he forgot all about me. ='[ October 17, 2006
- 1.. You make my dreams come true.. 2.. I just want to be with you.. 3.. It is plain to see that your the only one for me. October 17, 2006
- 10/17/06 Alyssa' 15th Birthday 10/18/06 Alaynies 9th Birthday Alaynie nearly made herself blind yesterday. Happy B-day October 18, 2006
- I will never eat a banana in public ever again. October 18, 2006
- I wish I knew what you were doing. Or even what your intentions are. October 18, 2006
- I dont want to be shy anymore. October 18, 2006
- I dont want to go ice skating today. October 19, 2006
- Haha, I said Atlantic Sea. xD Woops October 19, 2006
- Weee for downloading Firefox <3 I'm having too much fun making the box lines bigger scrolling on top of them x'D October 19, 2006
- Oh yes I'm pretty freaken great. PC was seriously dead and I think I fixed it. ='] I am brilliant if I do say so myself. Though I have no idea what I did. October 20, 2006
- I want a ring. October 21
- I'm scared of turning off my computer. October 21
- I need you here. October 21
- I dont know what to think anymore. October 21
- The glass is half empty, I need more water. October 21
- My bed is calling for me. October 22
- For once Ally was on today and my dad had to ruin it by coming in here. Sup privacy. Roarr. =[ October 22
- Please come back. October 22
- I think that if I wasn't a virgin, I'd be a sex addict. October 23
- Its not fun hanging out with people who are in a bad mood when your actually for once in a good mood. October 23
- Well that definitely made my day <3 October 24
- I wish I was as pretty as Ashley. October 24
- My knight in shining armour is about 2,400 miles away. October 24
- So tired.. About to fall over and sleep. October 25
-Went ice skating today.. & I didn't fall on my ass ='] October 25
- I hope Jenny isn't angry at me for leaving yesterday to sleep. I was tired and grouchy because of gym. October 26
- I wish I had 20/20 vision. October 26
- We do some weird things. I love it. <3 BBFAE October 26
- I felt special when he came to our table to talk to me and me only. They didn't expect that. October 26
- Sigh at things. ='[[[ At least I finished goal of 4k. October 26
- Well that was a strange dream.. October 27
- $26/500 For a new computer. This is going to take awhile. October 28
- Graduation Tassel: For such a small thing it symbolizes so many things. With so much meaning & memories behind it. For endings & new beginnings. October 28
- I tend to think before I speak, I think that is why I dont talk much. I dont want to say something stupid and have people mad at me. October 28
- 'Love is like war: easy to begin, hard to end.' October 29
- We were some hot ass toilet-paper fashion queens. <3 October 29
- Oh yes. Up so late and totally falling asleep in class tommorrow. Weee & about to shower with Jen. <3 October 30
- I dont know what to freaken wear. October 30
- 42 more days until my 18th Birthday. October 30
- My butterfly hairclip broke ='[ October 31
- I can't wait to have my own kids and take them out to go trick or treating.. November 1
- Next time my mom harms me or my younger siblings, I'll get her off them & run & if she has the cops come looking for me I'll tell them everything. ='[ November 1
- I need some chocolate to satisfy my hunger for love. November 2
- This whole gang war thing going on at school is kinda scary.. I wish they'd stop. November 2
- Anyone want a brownie? November 2
- I'm getting to the point that I just dont care anymore. About anything. November 4
- I hate people who abuse animals. What gives us humans the right to be so heartless & cruel to defenseless animals?? November 5
- She's too happy & hyperactive. I find her a bit annoying. November 6
- I feel like giving up. Some dreams just aren't meant to come true. November 8
- 'You're in my head morning, noon and night.' ='] Those words will be playing over & over in my head. November 8
- I love him, I truely do. I think he may be one of the few best things that has come into my life. I can't lose him. November 8
- Today has pretty much drained me from energy. And taking a nice warm shower just makes me want to sleep even more. November 9
- I wish I knew why he wanted my number. Or if he even knew my name. November 10
- I think I might start a color scheme. Should I? November 10
- It annoys me when people treat me like alittle child. Who don't take me seriously and just walk all over me. November 10
-O0o Why are bubbles round? Ooo November 11
- Boxed thought #100,008 =] November 11
- I want to tell him. But I'm afraid of his reaction. November 11
- Zombies are the scariest things ever. Being eaten alive by dead people.. creepy. =| November 11
- Saved up $68 dollars so far for my computer and I can't keep it. Stupid holidays. November 12
- My brother is playing with my lotions and light up heels. November 12
- I should really stop wasting time on the computer. I need to actually do something with my life. November 13
- One of my worst fears is getting fat. I have nothing against fat people I just dont want myself getting overweight. November 13
- He hates emos. I just hope he wont hate me when he finds out I'm semi-emo. November 14
- I'm so confused and scared. November 14
- I can't wait to move out. November 14
- With whatever I do I disappoint her or get her pissed. I can never make her happy or proud of me. Around her I feel like a dumbass. November 14
- My fingers smell like oranges. Mmm November 15
- I'm seeing another side of him. And I dont like it. November 15
- I wish I wasn't so clueless to what' going on. Is there something I should know? November 15
- Barely holding on. November 16
- I'm disappointed in myself. November 16
- I'm home alone? Weird.. November 16
- I was actually socializing with people today.. I felt alive. November 16
- Sometimes I wish I had done more things during my freshman, sophmore, & junior years. November 17
- I like the smell of gasoline, burning paper, and wet paint. Am I weird? November 17
- Slowly we are drifting a p a r t. November 18
- This weekend will be one of the best. November 18
- As always, I'm running late. ROAR!@#&(%P@! November 18
- I can't think, I'm coloring carebears. November 19
- Jen is the greatest friend anyone could ever have <3 November 19
- Sometimes I wonder if he can read my mind. November 20
- I'm proud to be in the school I attend, the city I was born in, and the country I belong to. Even if they have their defaults. November 21
- Senior Skip Day & I'm at school.. November 21
- I'm dirt poor. November 22
- TOP SECRET: Shshsh!! I want to take part in some rough sex, like right now. Roar. November 23
- ='[ My parents think my little brother has Cancer. He has 2 hard, strange bumps on his neck.. There going to take him to the hospital to get checked after dinner. November 24
- I never have money for Black Friday shopping. November 24
- My kitty snores. November 25
- I hate how my mom is so racist and judgemental. November 25
- Humans should be more like Penguins. November 25
- About to pee myself because my family are a bunch of assholes and locked me in the basement... November 26
- 18th Birthday Count Down: 15 days, 9 hours, 56 minutes, & 30 seconds. November 26
- There' no better place to sleep then in your own bed. November 26
- When I watch couples on tv doing cute things I imagine us doing them. November 26
- Get better little Sunshine. November 27
- Mmm.. Gummy bears. November 28
- Sometimes when I cross a street I wish that there would be a car I didn't see run over me. November 28
- I am bad luck to myself. I burnt my finger =[ November 29
- I'm sick of being my parents slave. November 29
- I have a presentation today. I hate talking in front of people.. I'm shaking right now just thinking about it. =[ November 30
- Take me by the hand, take me somewhere new. November 30
- I'm pathetic. November 30
- Patiently waiting for you to come back to me. December 1
- Hiccups are so annoying. December 1
- Thanks for ditching me. December 1
- I waited for you for 18 minutes. =| Saw you with her and then left. December 1
- I wish I had a crystal ball to see what my future witholds. Is it worth living for? December 2
- My sister is evil. December 3
- I feel as if I'm forgotten by the one I love most. December 3
- I wonder if he'll remember my birthday. December 3
- Yay for two hour delays. December 4
- I don't think I can do this anymore. December 4
- I feel like a complete idiot thinking he cared. He must not care that much about me if he doesn't make any attempt to talk to me. Sigh. December 4
- Crying helps me release everything that hurts. I cried but now I'm okay. If he doesn't care nor do I. December 4
- I like to cry in bed. December 5
- My kitty likes to steal my chair. December 5
- It's weird how like everything about someone and what makes them who they are can be 'cured' with medication. December 5
- The only good thing that comes from snow is snow days & making naked trees look pretty. December 5
- Guys in uniforms are hot. December 5
- I hope it's not too late. December 6
- All I'm thinking about is trying to think of something to put in this thought box. Oo December 6
- I wish I could stay in bed forever. December 7
- I think that if I really wanted to commit suicide I'd join the army. I'd rather die for my country then just kill myself senselessly. December 7
- I feel like I live in a snowglobe.December 7
- Do you care for what's on my mind? December 8
- I pretend that I'm interested in this boring class so I wont fall asleep. December 8
- I think we both know this isn't going to work. December 8
- I think if we can make it through this we can make it through anything. December 9
- 'I do understand, don't worry.' 'I'll wait until you're ready' You don't know how much those words mean to me. December 9
- We can be hopeless romantics together. December 9
- I wish I could shower with Ally. December 9
- Movie night with Jen. And fag dancing on cam with suffocation. December 9
- I can't think, I'm coloring Hello Kitty. December 10
- Jen won't let me sleep. December 10
- I never noticed how much my younger siblings have impacted my life and how much I've impacted theirs. I will miss them when I move away. December 11
- Some of my thoughts are contradicting. December 11
- Aw, Our chemistry class pet, rat thing died. =[ December 11
- I'm going to be sad if Ashley doesn't decorate my locker for my birthday. December 11
- My birthday is tommorrow. December 11
- Happy Birthday To Me! December 12
- I got a dozen pink roses for my birthday ='] Now I have to bring them to all my classes. December 12
- Ashley better like her locker tommorrow because I spent all my birthday money for it & I missed my call from Ally =[ And Alyssa killed my computer. December 13
- I'm getting so frustrated with school.. So many projects to do. I'm going insane. & I feel like crying. December 13
- I blew out all 18 candles.. Now I'm just waiting for my wish to come true. December 14
- I enjoy talking to him on the phone. December 15
- I'm lost without my computer =[ December 15
- Yay, I finally got it to work.. December 18
- Our Christmas Tree looks like a huge, fat Hershey Kiss. December 18
-I wish he loved me as much as I love him. December 18
-WARNING: This Tag must be Removed by the Store. Injury from permanent ink & Glass will result if forced off -.- American Eagle -.- fuckers forgot to take security tag off.. December 18
- I love feeling pretty. December 19
- I love new clothes. December 19
- I need constant reasurrance. December 19
- 'What' up beautiful?' I never thought I would hear that from him Oo.. I needed that boost of confidence, thanks. December 20
- I hate my life. December 20
- We are having some serious Global Warming & it scares me. Where are you dumb snow? December 21
- I think we'll be having a green Christmas this year, here in New York... December 21
- Went to the Library with Jen for independent reading. I think I will enjoy this book. Bad Kitty
by Michele Jaffe. December 21
- Bringing Frosted Animal Cookies for Christmas Party in Economics. Everyone will love them.
- Woo for free stuff. December 22
- My kitty is resting on my arm. I hope she's okay. She can't jump well. I don't know if she's just too fat and lazy, pregnant or hurting. December 22
- This tunnel has no light at the end. It only gets darker. December 22
- No one needs me. I have no reason to live. December 22
- Where are you Ally? December 23
- I'm starting to dislike holidays more and more. They cause too many troubles. December 23
- I miss being a child & believing in Santa. I miss the exciting, magical, cheerful, mysterious feeling. December 24
- I suck at gift wrapping... December 24
- At least we got frost. I think that not having snow ruined Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas! December 25
- 'You're mean for making me hurry my pee-ness' LOL, Woops. December 26
- Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to be the next you take. December 27
- I'm a failure. December 27
- Help me escape my hell. December 27
- Nothing good lasts. December 28
- He makes all my worries go away. December 28
- My mom said my legs are getting thick. I must run. December 28
- I love my fuzzy green slippers. December 28
- Aslan is a lovely looking lion. December 29
- I can't sleep, Ally is here. December 29
- I am so dead and I am still awake trying to speak to my lover, though I am barely able to stay alive. December 29
- Yay Ally, I'm in love. December 29
- Ally left us and I am sad. December 29
- Just hearing his voice makes me smile. December 29
- I can't wait to have children & be a mommy. December 30
- Should I be worried? December 30
- All I want is to be in your arms. December 30
- My computer hates me. December 31
- I love him so much, I hope he's not cheating on me. ='[ <3 June 3rd 2006
- I miss him greatly. <3 June 3rd 2006
- Suicide, Sometimes.. I wish I could commit. June 3rd 2006
- Nevada <3 June 5th 2006
- I love my Jarhead. June 7th 2006
- I had a dream.. He was cheating on me. It was sad. I cried. It seemed so real. =[ June 11 2006
- <> I almost got arrested yesterday. June 14th 2006
- Aha, Last night was fun. June 15th 2006
- I cant wait to get this over with. Ughhh! =|
- I just want to kill myself right now. I hate this thing called life. A life that doesn't deserve to live. *crying* ='[ I hate my mom. June 15th 2006
- xD He still loves me. <3 June 21st 2006
- He gave me a flower. ='] July 8th 2006
- I hate being depressed. I dont want to cry anymore.. August 26th 2006
- I hope I don't have it. August 28th 2006
- Should I tell my love? August 29th 2006
- Playing Cards on Gaia with my lover. ='] He's so lovely. <3 Opuk <3 August 29th 2006
- Me and Ally actually talked to eachother on phone at Jens house, on Saturday.. For like 3 hours. It was lovely. September 11, 2006 Se
- <3 I hope he's not mad, cause his mom is making him pay the phone bill. Roar at long distance.. =[ September 11, 2006 S
- Alone & Cold =| September 12, 2006 S
- Im afraid of losing him. I love him so much. September 12, 2006
- I miss him. We haven't talked since Saturday =[ 4 days.. September 13th 2006
- WE GOT CABLE!! It's been so long. x'D September 13, 2006
- As soon as I got home I just felt like crying & did.. Lately I've been holding in my tears. Just trying to ignore my feelings and pretend I'm happy.. September 14, 2006
- I dont want to pretend anymore. September 16, 2006
- 9/22/06 Bonfire - 9/23/06 Homecoming Jen doesn't want to go =[ Wish Ally could. September 16, 2006
- I hate being sick. ROAR!! Where is Jen? September 16, 2006
- Roar at Cj. She better not of. I dont even know the dude... or know how to dance with someone.. I feel so lame. September 16, 2006
- No one ever thinks about their pets Oo I love my pets <3 Racy Sylvester Evil & Liberty September 17, 2006
- I still cant beleive I'm a Senior. School goes by way to fast. '07 September 17, 2006
- Where is everyone? ='[ I'm so bored. -sit&wait- & I miss my lover.. sighhhh September 17, 2006
- I dont want to go to school. =| September 18, 2006
- Aw I love my Homecoming dress. <3 It's red. And my mom keeps singing the 'Lady in red' song -.- September 18, 2006
- Where are you? Did you move in with her? Do you like her? These questions are gradually killing me.. Please come back to me. ='[ September 18, 2006
- I can't deal with life .........right now......... ...........Going............ to sleep September 19, 2006
-Homecoming will be interesting... I'm still roaring at CJ. ROAR!@#P% -.- September 20, 2006
- Americas Next Top Model. I'm addicted to this show <3 September 20, 2006
- Dont judge a book by its cover. The cover may be better then the actual story. September 21, 2006
- I dont want to go to the homecoming any more. I dont think anyone is going =[ September 21, 2006
- I love how my thoughts are randomly colored. September 21, 2006
- Today was lots of fun hanging with Ashley. Everyone was leaving once we got at the bonfire, they had just put it out early. -.- September 23, 2006
- It felt odd having Ashley drive me home. I have never ridden in a car with someone my age driving until today. I cant wait to get my license. <3 September 23, 2006
- 80 more days till my 18th birthday. <3 Woo! September 23, 2006
- I cried in every slow song. =[ September 24, 2006
- <|3 I feel so alone. September 25, 2006
- I think about committing suicide everyday. September 26, 2006
-Yup, I do beleive he likes her. <|3 Isn't that just lovely.. ='[ September 27, 2006
- All this college shit is overwhelming me. So many things to do in so little time and still I'm not 100% sure of what I want to do with my life. Roarr!@#$ September 28, 2006
- Today some random dude at school asked me if I was single.. xD September 29, 2006
- RANDOM THOUGHT: If I have children my goal is to be the best mommy/wife ever. September 30, 2006
- I dont want winter to come. I hate the snow and coldness it brings. I want to move south. With Ally of course.. September 30, 2006
- Winter coats annoy me. Especially when shopping. October 1 2006
- I dont feel worthy of his love. I'm so lame. I've never actually had a boyfriend & dont really know what the heck I'm doing or what I should be doing. =[ October 1 2006
- Aw he sent me a lovely song. -listen to it 598 times- x'D Yup, I'm in love. October 1 2006
- I'm so glad we talked last night. October 1 2006
- I dont think Ally knows I'm basically flat chested. October 1 2006
- Wo, How is it 11 already? Oo Where is Ally? =[ I need him. & I need to sleep. October 1 2006
- I hate my gym class. I dont talk to anyone there. I played basketball all by myself. At one point I twisted my foot trying to get the ball and now it really hurts. =[ October 2 2006
- I'm Running Out Of Thoughts.. & Colors. October 3 2006
- I Love Rain <3 October 4 2006
- Yeah so I think my house is haunted.. =[ Something just touched my hip twice and nothing was there...HELP? October 4 2006
- Why are my hands always cold? =[ October 5 2006
- What time is it Mr. Fox? October 6 2006
- Lets romp. October 6 2006
- I'm addicted to drinking water <3 October 7 2006
- I really beleive that I will fail in all my dreams. My dreams are the only things that are keeping me alive. October 7 2006
- I <3 The Lion King October 7 2006
- I wonder if anyone ever reads my thoughts. Or are lame as me and read their own thoughts a million times. xD October 7 2006
- Today my dad sold his '72 Chevy Chevelle for $1800. I feel bad for him. He had it since I was born and the only thing he has left to remember his friend. October 8, 2006
- My dad is the best dad on this planet. October 8, 2006
- I should listen to this type of high energy music more often. It's fun. I want to spend night at Jennys but Matt is being mean. But it'sK!! <3 I will live. I promise. October 8, 2006
- Really missing Ally right now. ='[ I wonder if he ever thinks about me.. October 9, 2006
- I wonder if he loves me as much as he says.. Or if it's just a big lie/joke. October 9, 2006
- He's probably getting drunk and sexing 209385 girls. =| Long distance love sucks. October 9, 2006
- I feel bad for taking my dads money. But he keeps offering me it in exchange for cleaning. =| October 9, 2006
- Telling myself not to cry isn't easy. I'm trying to stay positive. October 9, 2006
- Aw, My dad cried watching the movie Click <3 October 14, 2006
- I'm too emotional. October 14, 2006
- Chillen with Jen. Listening to AFI. Glorious.. <3 October 15 2006
- No Raviolios ='[ October 15, 2006
- I love shopping. October 15 2006
- About to scream. October 15 2006
- Green is my favorite color. October 15 2006
- I can't find my glasses. School will be interesting... Ughh October 16 2006
- I know that if I ever get married I'd stay 100% faithful and I'd fight to keep us together till the very end. October 16 2006
- Sometimes when you get upset or angry it seems like your taking it out on me. It's really unfair. October 16 2006
- I want my very own happily ever after ending. October 17, 2006
- I wonder why he doesn't come on anymore to talk to me. I wonder if he forgot all about me. ='[ October 17, 2006
- 1.. You make my dreams come true.. 2.. I just want to be with you.. 3.. It is plain to see that your the only one for me. October 17, 2006
- 10/17/06 Alyssa' 15th Birthday 10/18/06 Alaynies 9th Birthday Alaynie nearly made herself blind yesterday. Happy B-day October 18, 2006
- I will never eat a banana in public ever again. October 18, 2006
- I wish I knew what you were doing. Or even what your intentions are. October 18, 2006
- I dont want to be shy anymore. October 18, 2006
- I dont want to go ice skating today. October 19, 2006
- Haha, I said Atlantic Sea. xD Woops October 19, 2006
- Weee for downloading Firefox <3 I'm having too much fun making the box lines bigger scrolling on top of them x'D October 19, 2006
- Oh yes I'm pretty freaken great. PC was seriously dead and I think I fixed it. ='] I am brilliant if I do say so myself. Though I have no idea what I did. October 20, 2006
- I want a ring. October 21
- I'm scared of turning off my computer. October 21
- I need you here. October 21
- I dont know what to think anymore. October 21
- The glass is half empty, I need more water. October 21
- My bed is calling for me. October 22
- For once Ally was on today and my dad had to ruin it by coming in here. Sup privacy. Roarr. =[ October 22
- Please come back. October 22
- I think that if I wasn't a virgin, I'd be a sex addict. October 23
- Its not fun hanging out with people who are in a bad mood when your actually for once in a good mood. October 23
- Well that definitely made my day <3 October 24
- I wish I was as pretty as Ashley. October 24
- My knight in shining armour is about 2,400 miles away. October 24
- So tired.. About to fall over and sleep. October 25
-Went ice skating today.. & I didn't fall on my ass ='] October 25
- I hope Jenny isn't angry at me for leaving yesterday to sleep. I was tired and grouchy because of gym. October 26
- I wish I had 20/20 vision. October 26
- We do some weird things. I love it. <3 BBFAE October 26
- I felt special when he came to our table to talk to me and me only. They didn't expect that. October 26
- Sigh at things. ='[[[ At least I finished goal of 4k. October 26
- Well that was a strange dream.. October 27
- $26/500 For a new computer. This is going to take awhile. October 28
- Graduation Tassel: For such a small thing it symbolizes so many things. With so much meaning & memories behind it. For endings & new beginnings. October 28
- I tend to think before I speak, I think that is why I dont talk much. I dont want to say something stupid and have people mad at me. October 28
- 'Love is like war: easy to begin, hard to end.' October 29
- We were some hot ass toilet-paper fashion queens. <3 October 29
- Oh yes. Up so late and totally falling asleep in class tommorrow. Weee & about to shower with Jen. <3 October 30
- I dont know what to freaken wear. October 30
- 42 more days until my 18th Birthday. October 30
- My butterfly hairclip broke ='[ October 31
- I can't wait to have my own kids and take them out to go trick or treating.. November 1
- Next time my mom harms me or my younger siblings, I'll get her off them & run & if she has the cops come looking for me I'll tell them everything. ='[ November 1
- I need some chocolate to satisfy my hunger for love. November 2
- This whole gang war thing going on at school is kinda scary.. I wish they'd stop. November 2
- Anyone want a brownie? November 2
- I'm getting to the point that I just dont care anymore. About anything. November 4
- I hate people who abuse animals. What gives us humans the right to be so heartless & cruel to defenseless animals?? November 5
- She's too happy & hyperactive. I find her a bit annoying. November 6
- I feel like giving up. Some dreams just aren't meant to come true. November 8
- 'You're in my head morning, noon and night.' ='] Those words will be playing over & over in my head. November 8
- I love him, I truely do. I think he may be one of the few best things that has come into my life. I can't lose him. November 8
- Today has pretty much drained me from energy. And taking a nice warm shower just makes me want to sleep even more. November 9
- I wish I knew why he wanted my number. Or if he even knew my name. November 10
- I think I might start a color scheme. Should I? November 10
- It annoys me when people treat me like alittle child. Who don't take me seriously and just walk all over me. November 10
-O0o Why are bubbles round? Ooo November 11
- Boxed thought #100,008 =] November 11
- I want to tell him. But I'm afraid of his reaction. November 11
- Zombies are the scariest things ever. Being eaten alive by dead people.. creepy. =| November 11
- Saved up $68 dollars so far for my computer and I can't keep it. Stupid holidays. November 12
- My brother is playing with my lotions and light up heels. November 12
- I should really stop wasting time on the computer. I need to actually do something with my life. November 13
- One of my worst fears is getting fat. I have nothing against fat people I just dont want myself getting overweight. November 13
- He hates emos. I just hope he wont hate me when he finds out I'm semi-emo. November 14
- I'm so confused and scared. November 14
- I can't wait to move out. November 14
- With whatever I do I disappoint her or get her pissed. I can never make her happy or proud of me. Around her I feel like a dumbass. November 14
- My fingers smell like oranges. Mmm November 15
- I'm seeing another side of him. And I dont like it. November 15
- I wish I wasn't so clueless to what' going on. Is there something I should know? November 15
- Barely holding on. November 16
- I'm disappointed in myself. November 16
- I'm home alone? Weird.. November 16
- I was actually socializing with people today.. I felt alive. November 16
- Sometimes I wish I had done more things during my freshman, sophmore, & junior years. November 17
- I like the smell of gasoline, burning paper, and wet paint. Am I weird? November 17
- Slowly we are drifting a p a r t. November 18
- This weekend will be one of the best. November 18
- As always, I'm running late. ROAR!@#&(%P@! November 18
- I can't think, I'm coloring carebears. November 19
- Jen is the greatest friend anyone could ever have <3 November 19
- Sometimes I wonder if he can read my mind. November 20
- I'm proud to be in the school I attend, the city I was born in, and the country I belong to. Even if they have their defaults. November 21
- Senior Skip Day & I'm at school.. November 21
- I'm dirt poor. November 22
- TOP SECRET: Shshsh!! I want to take part in some rough sex, like right now. Roar. November 23
- ='[ My parents think my little brother has Cancer. He has 2 hard, strange bumps on his neck.. There going to take him to the hospital to get checked after dinner. November 24
- I never have money for Black Friday shopping. November 24
- My kitty snores. November 25
- I hate how my mom is so racist and judgemental. November 25
- Humans should be more like Penguins. November 25
- About to pee myself because my family are a bunch of assholes and locked me in the basement... November 26
- 18th Birthday Count Down: 15 days, 9 hours, 56 minutes, & 30 seconds. November 26
- There' no better place to sleep then in your own bed. November 26
- When I watch couples on tv doing cute things I imagine us doing them. November 26
- Get better little Sunshine. November 27
- Mmm.. Gummy bears. November 28
- Sometimes when I cross a street I wish that there would be a car I didn't see run over me. November 28
- I am bad luck to myself. I burnt my finger =[ November 29
- I'm sick of being my parents slave. November 29
- I have a presentation today. I hate talking in front of people.. I'm shaking right now just thinking about it. =[ November 30
- Take me by the hand, take me somewhere new. November 30
- I'm pathetic. November 30
- Patiently waiting for you to come back to me. December 1
- Hiccups are so annoying. December 1
- Thanks for ditching me. December 1
- I waited for you for 18 minutes. =| Saw you with her and then left. December 1
- I wish I had a crystal ball to see what my future witholds. Is it worth living for? December 2
- My sister is evil. December 3
- I feel as if I'm forgotten by the one I love most. December 3
- I wonder if he'll remember my birthday. December 3
- Yay for two hour delays. December 4
- I don't think I can do this anymore. December 4
- I feel like a complete idiot thinking he cared. He must not care that much about me if he doesn't make any attempt to talk to me. Sigh. December 4
- Crying helps me release everything that hurts. I cried but now I'm okay. If he doesn't care nor do I. December 4
- I like to cry in bed. December 5
- My kitty likes to steal my chair. December 5
- It's weird how like everything about someone and what makes them who they are can be 'cured' with medication. December 5
- The only good thing that comes from snow is snow days & making naked trees look pretty. December 5
- Guys in uniforms are hot. December 5
- I hope it's not too late. December 6
- All I'm thinking about is trying to think of something to put in this thought box. Oo December 6
- I wish I could stay in bed forever. December 7
- I think that if I really wanted to commit suicide I'd join the army. I'd rather die for my country then just kill myself senselessly. December 7
- I feel like I live in a snowglobe.December 7
- Do you care for what's on my mind? December 8
- I pretend that I'm interested in this boring class so I wont fall asleep. December 8
- I think we both know this isn't going to work. December 8
- I think if we can make it through this we can make it through anything. December 9
- 'I do understand, don't worry.' 'I'll wait until you're ready' You don't know how much those words mean to me. December 9
- We can be hopeless romantics together. December 9
- I wish I could shower with Ally. December 9
- Movie night with Jen. And fag dancing on cam with suffocation. December 9
- I can't think, I'm coloring Hello Kitty. December 10
- Jen won't let me sleep. December 10
- I never noticed how much my younger siblings have impacted my life and how much I've impacted theirs. I will miss them when I move away. December 11
- Some of my thoughts are contradicting. December 11
- Aw, Our chemistry class pet, rat thing died. =[ December 11
- I'm going to be sad if Ashley doesn't decorate my locker for my birthday. December 11
- My birthday is tommorrow. December 11
- Happy Birthday To Me! December 12
- I got a dozen pink roses for my birthday ='] Now I have to bring them to all my classes. December 12
- Ashley better like her locker tommorrow because I spent all my birthday money for it & I missed my call from Ally =[ And Alyssa killed my computer. December 13
- I'm getting so frustrated with school.. So many projects to do. I'm going insane. & I feel like crying. December 13
- I blew out all 18 candles.. Now I'm just waiting for my wish to come true. December 14
- I enjoy talking to him on the phone. December 15
- I'm lost without my computer =[ December 15
- Yay, I finally got it to work.. December 18
- Our Christmas Tree looks like a huge, fat Hershey Kiss. December 18
-I wish he loved me as much as I love him. December 18
-WARNING: This Tag must be Removed by the Store. Injury from permanent ink & Glass will result if forced off -.- American Eagle -.- fuckers forgot to take security tag off.. December 18
- I love feeling pretty. December 19
- I love new clothes. December 19
- I need constant reasurrance. December 19
- 'What' up beautiful?' I never thought I would hear that from him Oo.. I needed that boost of confidence, thanks. December 20
- I hate my life. December 20
- We are having some serious Global Warming & it scares me. Where are you dumb snow? December 21
- I think we'll be having a green Christmas this year, here in New York... December 21
- Went to the Library with Jen for independent reading. I think I will enjoy this book. Bad Kitty
by Michele Jaffe. December 21
- Bringing Frosted Animal Cookies for Christmas Party in Economics. Everyone will love them.
- Woo for free stuff. December 22
- My kitty is resting on my arm. I hope she's okay. She can't jump well. I don't know if she's just too fat and lazy, pregnant or hurting. December 22
- This tunnel has no light at the end. It only gets darker. December 22
- No one needs me. I have no reason to live. December 22
- Where are you Ally? December 23
- I'm starting to dislike holidays more and more. They cause too many troubles. December 23
- I miss being a child & believing in Santa. I miss the exciting, magical, cheerful, mysterious feeling. December 24
- I suck at gift wrapping... December 24
- At least we got frost. I think that not having snow ruined Christmas spirit. Merry Christmas! December 25
- 'You're mean for making me hurry my pee-ness' LOL, Woops. December 26
- Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to be the next you take. December 27
- I'm a failure. December 27
- Help me escape my hell. December 27
- Nothing good lasts. December 28
- He makes all my worries go away. December 28
- My mom said my legs are getting thick. I must run. December 28
- I love my fuzzy green slippers. December 28
- Aslan is a lovely looking lion. December 29
- I can't sleep, Ally is here. December 29
- I am so dead and I am still awake trying to speak to my lover, though I am barely able to stay alive. December 29
- Yay Ally, I'm in love. December 29
- Ally left us and I am sad. December 29
- Just hearing his voice makes me smile. December 29
- I can't wait to have children & be a mommy. December 30
- Should I be worried? December 30
- All I want is to be in your arms. December 30
- My computer hates me. December 31
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Internet
My internet has been shut off for the last few days that is why I haven't updated this with anything... I am tired... I am writing this laying down in my bed... lol.
So some things to note about the last few days...
Tuesday I believe was the day Aiden had Special Olympics.. He didn't do so good, he did good last year I guess. This is the first year I went but I think this is his third year doing it.
Mom asked me the day before if I wanted to walk up to Jefferson with her. I told her I could just drive us up there. So that's what I did, we stopped by Wilson Farms to pick up something to eat for lunch. I got Kailynn and I Lunchables and her a little bowl thing of fruit that came with a cute little spork thing that bent in half.. I was going to give it to Jen next time I see her because I thought she'd like it since it's plastic and little and cute but I ended up throwing it out.
I was shocked when we arrived.. there was literally no parking spots.. than I found this one that was like really tiny, I wasn't sure I could squeeze in there, but I did and I was hugely proud of myself. My mom was like "I have no idea how you did that.." hahar. I am good, K. =]
I couldn't pay much attention to how Aiden and the event was going.. I only really got to see him race.. I had to chase Kailynn all over Strider field because she doesn't like to be held for very long... eventually though she must of got tired or hot because I got to hold her for awhile.. It was really hot out (my shoulders actually got burnt and I never get burnt) and I was getting really frustrated. She kept trying to play in the sand pits.. everyone thought she was adorable though. Eventually I went back to my car to get her stroller. I wish I had used the stroller earlier because she was a lot easier to control in there.. I didn't think she would like being in it because she usually doesn't. She probably didn't mind the shade from the umbrella like thing to cover the seat. Oh and I accidentally interfered a race. Ugh I was so embarrassed. I was trying to find my mom and Aiden and I was on my phone talking to her trying to find her because there was like a million people there.. so I didn't notice I was walking where they were doing the races, I finally realized it when I noticed a bunch of people were looking at me and someone was waving their arms over to one side trying to signal me to get out of the way..
Tuesday I also went to DMV to basically beg them to get me a road test before my 5 hour expires. They told me that I should be fine since I made my appointment before it expires. They had like two different people trying to help me out.. at first one lady was saying it had to be good for the test, than she changed her mind... I don't know.. the other lady just seemed to I have a feeling the person that will test me is going to be an asshole and say no I can't do it because it's expired. I haven't canceled my new 5 hour class appointment just in case they end up being jerks and I have to go do it again and set up another road test. Blehhhhh, I wish I could set up another road test appointment too because now the earliest is July 20th.. that went fast since I just made mine and it's for July 6th... but they only let you do one at a time. Roar so who knows when I can do another road test after I find out I can or cannot do it on July 6th. >=\ July 20th would be great for another road test since my appointment for 5 hour is on July 11 and 12th. So whatever.. I am just going to go to my test and try.. the worst that can happen is they say no or I fail and I have to go to the stupid 5 hour and then setup another road test that will probably be another couple months away. >x| I don't think I am even going to point out that it's expired and see if they notice.
Yesterday morning I felt like I was dying.. I woke up at like 5 am feeling like I couldn't breathe. My heart was also beating really really fast and hard. It felt like I was just running a far distance and I was out of breath because of it and I was trying to catch my breath. It hurt, my whole chest was sore. I'm not sure why I felt like that but I immediately thought it might be because of anemia. (I was anemic with Kailynn and had to take iron pills, but for some reason I must have not been anemic when I got my blood tested because my doctor didn't say I need iron pills) I haven't taken my prenatal vitamin pills in a week because we haven't had the time to get them at rite aid. I seriously thought it was anemia because it felt like my body was trying to pump blood really fast throughout my body and I probably didn't have much blood to pump, anemia is like when your blood count is low.. so that's why I felt like I couldn't breathe because I didn't have enough blood to oxygenate. I also think it might be anemia because the night before I drank some orange juice and orange juice pretty much keeps you from getting any iron. (I didn't know that until I looked up anemia on my phone) It also could of been because I was wearing a shirt that was somewhat tight on me.. I don't knowwww.
"Most commonly, people with anemia report non-specific symptoms of a feeling of weakness, or fatigue, general malaise and sometimes poor concentration." I definitely felt weak.
"In severe anemia, there may be signs of a hyperdynamic circulation: a fast heart rate (tachycardia), bounding pulse, flow murmurs, and cardiac ventricular hypertrophy (enlargement). There may be signs of heart failure."
Yeah I definitely think I was close to dying and it's lame because I knew I was bad and I didn't want to make a big deal out of it but like I never think I am that close to dying. (I expect death to be way worse.. I guess) Luckily I thought it was bad enough to cry to Brad and he was concerned enough to ask his boss if he could leave work a little bit to get me my pills.
So some things to note about the last few days...
Tuesday I believe was the day Aiden had Special Olympics.. He didn't do so good, he did good last year I guess. This is the first year I went but I think this is his third year doing it.
Mom asked me the day before if I wanted to walk up to Jefferson with her. I told her I could just drive us up there. So that's what I did, we stopped by Wilson Farms to pick up something to eat for lunch. I got Kailynn and I Lunchables and her a little bowl thing of fruit that came with a cute little spork thing that bent in half.. I was going to give it to Jen next time I see her because I thought she'd like it since it's plastic and little and cute but I ended up throwing it out.
I was shocked when we arrived.. there was literally no parking spots.. than I found this one that was like really tiny, I wasn't sure I could squeeze in there, but I did and I was hugely proud of myself. My mom was like "I have no idea how you did that.." hahar. I am good, K. =]
I couldn't pay much attention to how Aiden and the event was going.. I only really got to see him race.. I had to chase Kailynn all over Strider field because she doesn't like to be held for very long... eventually though she must of got tired or hot because I got to hold her for awhile.. It was really hot out (my shoulders actually got burnt and I never get burnt) and I was getting really frustrated. She kept trying to play in the sand pits.. everyone thought she was adorable though. Eventually I went back to my car to get her stroller. I wish I had used the stroller earlier because she was a lot easier to control in there.. I didn't think she would like being in it because she usually doesn't. She probably didn't mind the shade from the umbrella like thing to cover the seat. Oh and I accidentally interfered a race. Ugh I was so embarrassed. I was trying to find my mom and Aiden and I was on my phone talking to her trying to find her because there was like a million people there.. so I didn't notice I was walking where they were doing the races, I finally realized it when I noticed a bunch of people were looking at me and someone was waving their arms over to one side trying to signal me to get out of the way..
Tuesday I also went to DMV to basically beg them to get me a road test before my 5 hour expires. They told me that I should be fine since I made my appointment before it expires. They had like two different people trying to help me out.. at first one lady was saying it had to be good for the test, than she changed her mind... I don't know.. the other lady just seemed to I have a feeling the person that will test me is going to be an asshole and say no I can't do it because it's expired. I haven't canceled my new 5 hour class appointment just in case they end up being jerks and I have to go do it again and set up another road test. Blehhhhh, I wish I could set up another road test appointment too because now the earliest is July 20th.. that went fast since I just made mine and it's for July 6th... but they only let you do one at a time. Roar so who knows when I can do another road test after I find out I can or cannot do it on July 6th. >=\ July 20th would be great for another road test since my appointment for 5 hour is on July 11 and 12th. So whatever.. I am just going to go to my test and try.. the worst that can happen is they say no or I fail and I have to go to the stupid 5 hour and then setup another road test that will probably be another couple months away. >x| I don't think I am even going to point out that it's expired and see if they notice.
Yesterday morning I felt like I was dying.. I woke up at like 5 am feeling like I couldn't breathe. My heart was also beating really really fast and hard. It felt like I was just running a far distance and I was out of breath because of it and I was trying to catch my breath. It hurt, my whole chest was sore. I'm not sure why I felt like that but I immediately thought it might be because of anemia. (I was anemic with Kailynn and had to take iron pills, but for some reason I must have not been anemic when I got my blood tested because my doctor didn't say I need iron pills) I haven't taken my prenatal vitamin pills in a week because we haven't had the time to get them at rite aid. I seriously thought it was anemia because it felt like my body was trying to pump blood really fast throughout my body and I probably didn't have much blood to pump, anemia is like when your blood count is low.. so that's why I felt like I couldn't breathe because I didn't have enough blood to oxygenate. I also think it might be anemia because the night before I drank some orange juice and orange juice pretty much keeps you from getting any iron. (I didn't know that until I looked up anemia on my phone) It also could of been because I was wearing a shirt that was somewhat tight on me.. I don't knowwww.
"Most commonly, people with anemia report non-specific symptoms of a feeling of weakness, or fatigue, general malaise and sometimes poor concentration." I definitely felt weak.
"In severe anemia, there may be signs of a hyperdynamic circulation: a fast heart rate (tachycardia), bounding pulse, flow murmurs, and cardiac ventricular hypertrophy (enlargement). There may be signs of heart failure."
Yeah I definitely think I was close to dying and it's lame because I knew I was bad and I didn't want to make a big deal out of it but like I never think I am that close to dying. (I expect death to be way worse.. I guess) Luckily I thought it was bad enough to cry to Brad and he was concerned enough to ask his boss if he could leave work a little bit to get me my pills.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
I Want A Horse
So I was putting things on craigslist for my dad and one thing is a rototiller, since it's a thing to dig up the ground to make it soft for gardening I put it under the category farm & garden. I decided to look at other things that were being sold and I noticed this add. They pretty much take care of your horse for you for$210 a month.. I think that's relatively cheap.. it's like less than $3000 a year. It's $2520.. I think the only thing else you have to pay is it's vet care. They feed it and give it a home. I figured if anyone else I knew was also interested in having a horse we could split the expenses. I think it'd be neat but it's probably time consuming too so I probably shouldn't.. at least for another couple years. =\\
This handsome fellow is up for sale at their farm. His name is Bonjovi.. lol. He seems really cute. "This little guy gets in to everything! He opens gates, pulls blankets off buddies, the works."
This handsome fellow is up for sale at their farm. His name is Bonjovi.. lol. He seems really cute. "This little guy gets in to everything! He opens gates, pulls blankets off buddies, the works."
Stupid Dates
So today I called for my five hour course and found out that I can't do it until July 11, and 12.. so I scheduled that.. forgetting when my road test is (I'm really hoping I heard her wrong and it's June 11, and 12.) Ughhhhhhhh. I tried calling her back and she didn't answer so I left a message on her machine.. she never called me back. My road test is scheduled for July 6. I need the five hour before I take my road test. >=o
So I just plan on calling DMV tomorrow and beg them to give me a road test before June 26 (when my five hour I did last year expires) if they can't than I'm just going to have to have them reschedule me for something after July 11, and 12th. >=\ I'm going to see if my mom would be willing to go with me to watch Kailynn in the car at DMV since they never pick up their freaking phone.
I don't know I'm frustrated.. I know my mom is going to Jefferson for some reason and she asked me if I wanted to walk up there with her.. I said I could probably just drive since I doubt we'd see a cop on the way. I don't know what time she's thinking about going over there.. and I could probably have my dad go to DMV with me after he gets out of work.. so I don't knowwwwwwww.
I just want to screammm. Why can't any of this licensing crap line up right for me.. I didn't think it'd take that long to do my 5 hour because I swear like the week after I scheduled I got to take it. Not two months later.
So I just plan on calling DMV tomorrow and beg them to give me a road test before June 26 (when my five hour I did last year expires) if they can't than I'm just going to have to have them reschedule me for something after July 11, and 12th. >=\ I'm going to see if my mom would be willing to go with me to watch Kailynn in the car at DMV since they never pick up their freaking phone.
I don't know I'm frustrated.. I know my mom is going to Jefferson for some reason and she asked me if I wanted to walk up there with her.. I said I could probably just drive since I doubt we'd see a cop on the way. I don't know what time she's thinking about going over there.. and I could probably have my dad go to DMV with me after he gets out of work.. so I don't knowwwwwwww.
I just want to screammm. Why can't any of this licensing crap line up right for me.. I didn't think it'd take that long to do my 5 hour because I swear like the week after I scheduled I got to take it. Not two months later.
Monday, May 23, 2011
For Sale
My dad is selling a bunch of junk because he needs more money for the house repairs. He got me to take pictures of his rototiller and grandma's monte carlo to post up on craigslist. He's also thinking about having a yard sale on Monday.
I might try selling some things, I don't know what yet.
He's also thinking about selling the fence in back of their new house since he wants to build a bigger privacy fence around the two places together.. he plans on making all the yards one big piece of land, it'll make it easier for him to mow the lawns and junk. Makes me mad though, I wanted to just use that backyard for the summer to make it easier for me to keep Kailynn in one area.
He also told me that Alyssa is going to move up here. That will be kinda neat to have sis back in the neighborhood, maybe we can do our late night walks again.
Brad is currently frustrating me.. he is flipping because he can't get past this part on a video game. Gr, guys are lame. -.-
I might try selling some things, I don't know what yet.
He's also thinking about selling the fence in back of their new house since he wants to build a bigger privacy fence around the two places together.. he plans on making all the yards one big piece of land, it'll make it easier for him to mow the lawns and junk. Makes me mad though, I wanted to just use that backyard for the summer to make it easier for me to keep Kailynn in one area.
He also told me that Alyssa is going to move up here. That will be kinda neat to have sis back in the neighborhood, maybe we can do our late night walks again.
Brad is currently frustrating me.. he is flipping because he can't get past this part on a video game. Gr, guys are lame. -.-
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Yesterday Was Odd
It was odd because I didn't spend much time on the internet.. which felt really good. I felt like I had a life worth living for kinda. I wasn't just sitting on my couch, watching tv or doing something online or taking care of Kailynn. =] It was good. I wish I could have more days like it.. The nice weather probably helped a lot.
Some really big news, my parents won the house next door! How exciting and weird to think my parents own two houses now.. well to be more precise they own three properties.. the big slice of land next door to my parents didn't come with the house. (they'll own five properties when my grandma passes away but luckily she's really healthy for her age so that won't happen anytime soon (she plans on giving my dad her little house and the cleaners since he's helped her so much with anything that needed to be worked on)) anndd when my parent's pass away they'll pass it all down to me and I'll be responsible to split the profits with all my sisters and brother. But whooo knows, things can change.
Anywaysss, they won the house next door for $7200. Cheapp, Brad and I are thinking about using one of our tax returns to buy a house through the auction.. hopefully we can get a decent one.. or one that has people already living in it so we don't have to do that much work to it..(bad thing about that is that we'd have to evict them =\\) Another bad thing about buying a house that needs some work through the auction is that they require you to fix any code violations within the month you get it.. or they will fine you. That prevents people from just gutting out houses and leaving it to rot, etc. The house next door has a few violations like the roof.. my parents already knew about them though. That's kinda good in a way because that kinda forces my dad to fix it up fast so they can move in and we can move downstairs before the baby is born. xD
Legally my dad isn't supposed to be working on it yet.. even though he bought it it's still kinda considered trespassing.. they need to get the final word from the bank or something... not sure.. but it's not like anyone around here knows that and they all know my dad so it's not like some random person is monkeying around in the neighborhood. Yesterday my dad already started doing yard work, he mowed the lawn and cut a bunch of branches off from the trees. I think he plans on actually cutting down all the trees today. So yes, I am glad they bought it.. that house has a small fence around the yard and it makes it so much easier to keep Kailynn safe.. we were outside like all day back there. It's not that great right now.. the yard is really cushiony because the lawn really needed mowing so there's like LOTS of cut up grass (like a 3 inch layer) just laying around.. there's also huge branches mixed in the grass because a tree was struck by lightning and left chunks of wood everywhere. There's also like a little jungle in the corner of a strange plant or tree.. my dad was saying to dress Kailynn up like tarzan or something and take pictures of her in it.
Hahar, I didn't though.. my cameras are like all full, I don't like deleting thingsssssss because I'm afraid something will break so that I won't have access to them. Blehhhhhhh.
Brad had his step dad stop over and help him replace his radiator so that's good now. They also tried fixing his lights.. they've been collecting moisture inside them for some reason.. not sure if it actually worked yet..
After Brad fixed his car he started drinking.. blehh. I got upset because I knew he'd eventually leave me home, he doesn't invite me to do anything with him on the weekends anymore. =[[ He's lame and it makes me mad because I know he hides shit from me.. like I found out something but I don't even want to announce it to the world. Makes me want to cry because I'm pretty sure Brad does it every time he goes to Bamas when I'm not around..
But this weekend he ended up getting Alyssa to babysit Kailynn so that I could go with.. I thought we were going to go midnight bowling but we went to bars instead. First Dugans.. nothing was going on there but a few people playing pool.. I couldn't play pool because everyone else had the tables and quarters set. =[ Brad knew some dude he calls porkchop.
We left after Brad had a drink.. we noticed a bar next to it called Mojo's seemed like a bunch of people were at.. there was a band playing.. Black Mountain Symphony I think is what it was called. They were really good, the girl played violin. Brad had a couple drinks there.. this really friendly dude named Andy talked to us for a bit.. he noticed that I was pregnant and asked when I was due and junk.
We left there to go to one of Brad's friends place.. that was kinda strange.. we knocked on the door and someone came to the door and asked us who we were without opening it.. they had a light on, they then turned the light off and ignored us.. than some woman came up the steps.. Brad thinks they were doing a drug deal or something.. Lame.
So we went to Bamas.. he wasn't home but we found him across the street at someone else's place.. Their place was really tiny and crowded and gross. The guy that lived there was hugely intoxicated and kept falling so Brad and Bama were like my bodyguards -.- trying to keep me safe because I was pregnant.. it made me feel little or something like I was a baby and I couldn't protect myself from a drunk man.... than we went back to Bamas and played a dice game, Brad got irritated with Bama so we went home.
Since Brad was really intoxicated and Alyssa didn't really want to take a cab we took my car.. she drove to her place and I drove back home alone. Lol she said my car is a boat again.. she thinks it's huge, it's only huge when compared to hers. Her's is really tiny. I had a kinda creepy moment driving home.. there was a deer in the middle of the street looking straight at me.. like I couldn't see her whole body.. just the front of her (I'm pretty sure it was a female because she was big and had no antlers), so there was like only two legs I could see.. to me before I got close to it, it looked like a person just standing there. That thought just kinda freaked me out even though it was just a deer.
Oh yeah before me and Brad left for our little adventure, my parents were gone for a little bit to eat dinner, when they came back it was dark.. I went back outside with Kailynn, that was the first time she played outside at night. She was amazed by the little light up butterflies my mom has out front, they change color. Lol she kept talking to them.. and pointing to them... there's only two but they are like far away from one another so she kept running back and forth to both of them.
Some really big news, my parents won the house next door! How exciting and weird to think my parents own two houses now.. well to be more precise they own three properties.. the big slice of land next door to my parents didn't come with the house. (they'll own five properties when my grandma passes away but luckily she's really healthy for her age so that won't happen anytime soon (she plans on giving my dad her little house and the cleaners since he's helped her so much with anything that needed to be worked on)) anndd when my parent's pass away they'll pass it all down to me and I'll be responsible to split the profits with all my sisters and brother. But whooo knows, things can change.
Anywaysss, they won the house next door for $7200. Cheapp, Brad and I are thinking about using one of our tax returns to buy a house through the auction.. hopefully we can get a decent one.. or one that has people already living in it so we don't have to do that much work to it..(bad thing about that is that we'd have to evict them =\\) Another bad thing about buying a house that needs some work through the auction is that they require you to fix any code violations within the month you get it.. or they will fine you. That prevents people from just gutting out houses and leaving it to rot, etc. The house next door has a few violations like the roof.. my parents already knew about them though. That's kinda good in a way because that kinda forces my dad to fix it up fast so they can move in and we can move downstairs before the baby is born. xD
Legally my dad isn't supposed to be working on it yet.. even though he bought it it's still kinda considered trespassing.. they need to get the final word from the bank or something... not sure.. but it's not like anyone around here knows that and they all know my dad so it's not like some random person is monkeying around in the neighborhood. Yesterday my dad already started doing yard work, he mowed the lawn and cut a bunch of branches off from the trees. I think he plans on actually cutting down all the trees today. So yes, I am glad they bought it.. that house has a small fence around the yard and it makes it so much easier to keep Kailynn safe.. we were outside like all day back there. It's not that great right now.. the yard is really cushiony because the lawn really needed mowing so there's like LOTS of cut up grass (like a 3 inch layer) just laying around.. there's also huge branches mixed in the grass because a tree was struck by lightning and left chunks of wood everywhere. There's also like a little jungle in the corner of a strange plant or tree.. my dad was saying to dress Kailynn up like tarzan or something and take pictures of her in it.
Hahar, I didn't though.. my cameras are like all full, I don't like deleting thingsssssss because I'm afraid something will break so that I won't have access to them. Blehhhhhhh.
Brad had his step dad stop over and help him replace his radiator so that's good now. They also tried fixing his lights.. they've been collecting moisture inside them for some reason.. not sure if it actually worked yet..
After Brad fixed his car he started drinking.. blehh. I got upset because I knew he'd eventually leave me home, he doesn't invite me to do anything with him on the weekends anymore. =[[ He's lame and it makes me mad because I know he hides shit from me.. like I found out something but I don't even want to announce it to the world. Makes me want to cry because I'm pretty sure Brad does it every time he goes to Bamas when I'm not around..
But this weekend he ended up getting Alyssa to babysit Kailynn so that I could go with.. I thought we were going to go midnight bowling but we went to bars instead. First Dugans.. nothing was going on there but a few people playing pool.. I couldn't play pool because everyone else had the tables and quarters set. =[ Brad knew some dude he calls porkchop.
We left after Brad had a drink.. we noticed a bar next to it called Mojo's seemed like a bunch of people were at.. there was a band playing.. Black Mountain Symphony I think is what it was called. They were really good, the girl played violin. Brad had a couple drinks there.. this really friendly dude named Andy talked to us for a bit.. he noticed that I was pregnant and asked when I was due and junk.
We left there to go to one of Brad's friends place.. that was kinda strange.. we knocked on the door and someone came to the door and asked us who we were without opening it.. they had a light on, they then turned the light off and ignored us.. than some woman came up the steps.. Brad thinks they were doing a drug deal or something.. Lame.
So we went to Bamas.. he wasn't home but we found him across the street at someone else's place.. Their place was really tiny and crowded and gross. The guy that lived there was hugely intoxicated and kept falling so Brad and Bama were like my bodyguards -.- trying to keep me safe because I was pregnant.. it made me feel little or something like I was a baby and I couldn't protect myself from a drunk man.... than we went back to Bamas and played a dice game, Brad got irritated with Bama so we went home.
Since Brad was really intoxicated and Alyssa didn't really want to take a cab we took my car.. she drove to her place and I drove back home alone. Lol she said my car is a boat again.. she thinks it's huge, it's only huge when compared to hers. Her's is really tiny. I had a kinda creepy moment driving home.. there was a deer in the middle of the street looking straight at me.. like I couldn't see her whole body.. just the front of her (I'm pretty sure it was a female because she was big and had no antlers), so there was like only two legs I could see.. to me before I got close to it, it looked like a person just standing there. That thought just kinda freaked me out even though it was just a deer.
Oh yeah before me and Brad left for our little adventure, my parents were gone for a little bit to eat dinner, when they came back it was dark.. I went back outside with Kailynn, that was the first time she played outside at night. She was amazed by the little light up butterflies my mom has out front, they change color. Lol she kept talking to them.. and pointing to them... there's only two but they are like far away from one another so she kept running back and forth to both of them.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Judgment Day
Is tomorrow supposedly. It's weird because I didn't hear anything about it until a few days ago..
I kissed Kailynn goodnight twice tonight just in case and because I found this cute quote.. I think it's kinda lame to credit someone for saying something so simple that anyone could of said but alas I will.
I kissed Kailynn goodnight twice tonight just in case and because I found this cute quote.. I think it's kinda lame to credit someone for saying something so simple that anyone could of said but alas I will.
I think that's a cute thing to do.. and Kailynn and Alex will probably enjoy it..
I remember when my parents used to love me when I was little and used to give me kisses goodnight.. sigh and I loved it for awhile then I didn't want to anymore.. that was probably when things started to change. I find it so weird that I can remember something before my mom started abusing me and it just happens to be a good memory. =\\ There's a couple things I remember way back when I was little.. I'll write about those some other time..
Today I bought my parents their glass ball that I owed them because Kailynn broke it.. it's pretty and really shiny. I wonder if they noticed it or if Brad mentioned it to them while he was down there paying rent. I hope Brad didn't tell them.. I kinda want it to be a surprise and see how long it might take them to notice it on their own.. or if the kids see it. It doesn't matter.
Oh yeah speaking of parents.. my parents are going to the auction early tomorrow for the house next door.. I guess they are going to try for a few other houses if they can't get that one. They don't want to leave the auction empty handed. I really hope they can get the house next door. I guess it starts at 8 am, they already asked me to watch the kids for them.. hum de dummm.
I remember when my parents used to love me when I was little and used to give me kisses goodnight.. sigh and I loved it for awhile then I didn't want to anymore.. that was probably when things started to change. I find it so weird that I can remember something before my mom started abusing me and it just happens to be a good memory. =\\ There's a couple things I remember way back when I was little.. I'll write about those some other time..
Today I bought my parents their glass ball that I owed them because Kailynn broke it.. it's pretty and really shiny. I wonder if they noticed it or if Brad mentioned it to them while he was down there paying rent. I hope Brad didn't tell them.. I kinda want it to be a surprise and see how long it might take them to notice it on their own.. or if the kids see it. It doesn't matter.
Oh yeah speaking of parents.. my parents are going to the auction early tomorrow for the house next door.. I guess they are going to try for a few other houses if they can't get that one. They don't want to leave the auction empty handed. I really hope they can get the house next door. I guess it starts at 8 am, they already asked me to watch the kids for them.. hum de dummm.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Couple More Things
A couple things I forgot to mention in my humongous post..
-I asked my doctor if it'd be fine if I brought Kailynn along with me for my appointments and she said yes.. lol. She is a family doctorr. She was saying she could let Kailynn squirt the gel on my tummy and spread it around but then I might get more than enough on me. I really love my doctor, she's the coolest, nicest person ever. So glad I found her.
-I also asked her about my most recent pap smear because she forgot to mention anything about it the last couple times I've been there. It came back normal! =]] I think that's like three in a row that came out normal. I had two that came out abnormal for some reason.. and that scared the crap out of me.
-My doctor didn't mention anything weird with the ultrasound so he must be pretty perfect, so I probably won't be seeing him again.. =[ boo.
-I think I was also supposed to set up an appointment to drink that hugely sugary crap drink that everyone says is horrible, I didn't think it was that bad... lol I remember everyone telling me that it was really disgusting and I was scared to drink it. You have to drink it all in like 5 minutes and I think it took me like 2 minutes. I chose the orange flavor the last time so I'll probably choose it again this time. To me it tasted like any other orange flavored soda.. I remember it being really cold and you are not allowed to drink/eat anything before you take the test so I was probably thirsty when I did it.
I don't think the lady set it up for me thoughhh, she had a bunch of people trying to call her as she was setting up my regular doctor appointments.
I'm reading about the glucose screening test right noww to refresh my memory.. it's a freaken blood testtt. I was hoping it was a pee test. xD Loll. I couldn't remember. I also have to wait there at the office for like an hour after I drink the drink before they draw my blood.
Fun, fun, funnnnnn. Oh pregnancy crappp.
-I asked my doctor if it'd be fine if I brought Kailynn along with me for my appointments and she said yes.. lol. She is a family doctorr. She was saying she could let Kailynn squirt the gel on my tummy and spread it around but then I might get more than enough on me. I really love my doctor, she's the coolest, nicest person ever. So glad I found her.
-I also asked her about my most recent pap smear because she forgot to mention anything about it the last couple times I've been there. It came back normal! =]] I think that's like three in a row that came out normal. I had two that came out abnormal for some reason.. and that scared the crap out of me.
-My doctor didn't mention anything weird with the ultrasound so he must be pretty perfect, so I probably won't be seeing him again.. =[ boo.
-I think I was also supposed to set up an appointment to drink that hugely sugary crap drink that everyone says is horrible, I didn't think it was that bad... lol I remember everyone telling me that it was really disgusting and I was scared to drink it. You have to drink it all in like 5 minutes and I think it took me like 2 minutes. I chose the orange flavor the last time so I'll probably choose it again this time. To me it tasted like any other orange flavored soda.. I remember it being really cold and you are not allowed to drink/eat anything before you take the test so I was probably thirsty when I did it.
I don't think the lady set it up for me thoughhh, she had a bunch of people trying to call her as she was setting up my regular doctor appointments.
I'm reading about the glucose screening test right noww to refresh my memory.. it's a freaken blood testtt. I was hoping it was a pee test. xD Loll. I couldn't remember. I also have to wait there at the office for like an hour after I drink the drink before they draw my blood.
Fun, fun, funnnnnn. Oh pregnancy crappp.
My Shyness
I was just reading a blog about shyness. I haven't even finished reading it but this line struck gold to me...
"Did you not get enough attention as a child or maybe too much, so you learned to be quiet and invisible?"
I could never figure out why I am so shy or quiet.. until now... I really think that could be the reason why. When I was little I didn't want to attract any attention from my mother because I was afraid I'd do something wrong. I was too afraid to say anything wrong and make her angry. I used to choose my words carefully, making sure I didn't make the wrong impression on her. To escape any type of pain I just wanted to be invisible in her eyes.
My mother taught me to keep my mouth shut.
A lot of people say shy people have a fear of criticism and that never seemed to really pertain to me. I don't mind going out in public wearing no makeup. Even though I know I may look like crap and other people will judge me the idea doesn't really bother me that much.. like when I went to my doctor's appointment.. I didn't think I looked all that great because I didn't put much effort in my appearance. I knew I didn't look that pleasant but as soon as I left I didn't feel embarrassed or anything. I don't know.. maybe it could be a slight reason. I know I am a very emotional person and if I find out someone is talking bad about me I can easily cry. Like when CJ and I went for a walk she told me that Brad is related to Kasey's sister.. I'm not really sure how Kasey's sis and Brad are related.. it confused me when CJ and Brad were figuring it out.. probably because I don't know the names to everyone on his side of the family yet. Anyways CJ told me that Kasey's sister told CJ that one of Brad's aunt and uncle doesn't like me.. I'm not sure of their names but I know who they are.. I guess they don't like me because I couldn't get Kailynn to stop crying while we were at Brad's Aunt Brenda's to celebrate Christmas... which pisses me off because if I had it my way we would of left when Kailynn started getting grumpy but Brad wanted to hang out longer since he only sees them on xmas. She was so cranky she didn't open any of their gifts.. we just packed them up and opened them the next day at home.. if that's the reason they were mad I'd understand but it's not the easiest thing to get a 1 year old to stop crying because she wants to go to sleep in her bed and I definitely tried getting her to stop but nothing was working. =\ But I ended up crying finding that out. Finding that out just makes me not want to go over there this year. I will definitely act differently towards them and I couldn't careless if I'm a bitch.
My mother taught me to keep my mouth shut.
A lot of people say shy people have a fear of criticism and that never seemed to really pertain to me. I don't mind going out in public wearing no makeup. Even though I know I may look like crap and other people will judge me the idea doesn't really bother me that much.. like when I went to my doctor's appointment.. I didn't think I looked all that great because I didn't put much effort in my appearance. I knew I didn't look that pleasant but as soon as I left I didn't feel embarrassed or anything. I don't know.. maybe it could be a slight reason. I know I am a very emotional person and if I find out someone is talking bad about me I can easily cry. Like when CJ and I went for a walk she told me that Brad is related to Kasey's sister.. I'm not really sure how Kasey's sis and Brad are related.. it confused me when CJ and Brad were figuring it out.. probably because I don't know the names to everyone on his side of the family yet. Anyways CJ told me that Kasey's sister told CJ that one of Brad's aunt and uncle doesn't like me.. I'm not sure of their names but I know who they are.. I guess they don't like me because I couldn't get Kailynn to stop crying while we were at Brad's Aunt Brenda's to celebrate Christmas... which pisses me off because if I had it my way we would of left when Kailynn started getting grumpy but Brad wanted to hang out longer since he only sees them on xmas. She was so cranky she didn't open any of their gifts.. we just packed them up and opened them the next day at home.. if that's the reason they were mad I'd understand but it's not the easiest thing to get a 1 year old to stop crying because she wants to go to sleep in her bed and I definitely tried getting her to stop but nothing was working. =\ But I ended up crying finding that out. Finding that out just makes me not want to go over there this year. I will definitely act differently towards them and I couldn't careless if I'm a bitch.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Huge Update, Hooray.
Is it lame that I haven't yet posted about yesterday and I still don't feel like it? Ughh, I am being lazy I guess.
I'll start off by talking about today real quick since only one thing interesting really happened. Well I guess I could say a few things.
First thing which really made my day was this little raccoon guy that I found out on my porchhh. He was so cute. I wanted to pet him and keep his fluffy, cute little teddy bear ear self but I am obviously smart enough not to. He acted friendly but I'm afraid he would of been mean if there was nothing in between him, Kiki and myself. He probably would of torn my kitty to pieces. I don't even know if it was a boy.. just seems cuter to think so I guess. I will probably post the short video clip I recorded of him/her once I upload it to youtube. Once Kailynn falls asleep. Hmhmhm.
Also today my parents left around 3 to watch Alaynie run track.. I guess she came up 4th but she was against all the good people from all the other schools. She's been really good at it, she came up 1st on 200 meeter hurdles the other time she went. I'm thinking it was her last track meet today because they gathered all the best kids to compete against one another. But yes, I had to be outside and wait for Aiden's bus to arrive since they weren't home.. the bus kinda tricked me because I swear he usually goes up the street beside our house not on the street in front. I was outback and heard a horn and ran up front to see if it was the bus, sure enough it was and the driver was already out and about to knock on the door. -.- Lamer. But yes while I was outback I had Kailynn with me.. I put her on the trampoline all by herself... at first she walked/ran and figured out that it was bouncy so she did tiny little hops. I climbed on and did slight little hops sitting down.. I figured little bounces won't hurt the baby. I hope not. <> Lol she loved it. I wish I recorded it but I still can't find my camcorder.. I used the camcorder on my cybershot camera to record the raccoon. That's about it for today.
Yesterday I went to my doctor's appointment, found out I gained 10 pounds.. I weighed 140 exactly. It's funny because I made sure I ate a lot so I know I would gain weight and not lose again.. I didn't want to gain that much weight though.. <> ugh. They have a new weight thing though so who knows if the old one was more correct or just failed or if this one is giving me some extra pounds.. before they had one of them old fashioned ones that had little weight things you move around.. this one is digital.. the next time I think will be more accurate as a way to find how much weight I gained since it's the same machine. I did all the usual crap, my doctor asked me if I found out if it was a boy or girl.. told her it's a boy. She told me a lot of her patients are having boys. Hahar. She had a hard time finding his heartbeat for some reason.. took her a couple minutes.. she kept getting mine. I told her I knew he's still alive because right before I walked in he was moving around.. than he kicked her little tool thing and she found it. lool. She also told me that the ultrasound figured my due date was the 21st not the 19th.. but my doctor sticks with the original date since it's close anyways. So I'm glad to hear that since that means my baby is where he's supposed to be at pretty much. =]] (I always get scared I'm not giving him enough essential nutrients.) The ultrasound pretty much said the same thing for Kailynn. She was due for the the 14th of August but they figured the 16th and she was born on the 18th. 4 days late. After my appointment I looked for my cell in my purse and thought I lost it.. all the nice nurses were trying to help me find it.. then one got the bright idea to use the offices phone to call it and see if we could hear it.. we didn't. I was afraid it might of fell out onto the seat in the waiting room and someone took it.. So I ended up using their phone to call my dad. My dad was like "forgot to grab your phone?".. it was in his van and he heard it ring in there -.- loll. Glad I didn't lose it.
After my appointment and once we got done eating dinner Brad and I went out driving to practice, k turns and parallels. I did two parallels and one K turn. I'm pretty much pro at K turns now.. I just need more confidence for parallels. One parallel was with only one car and the other I went in between two cars.. I was so proud of myself for making it in.. and I did it downtown in medium traffic. =] There was a car behind me before I could do it so when I signaled.. they pulled around me. I always got nervous of that idea.. having someone behind me and not knowing what to do.. I don't really need to do anything but use my turning signal so they know what I am attempting to do and they can just go around me.
I realized a lame thing about my car though.. you can't see the trunk from the inside front seat because of the way it's built.. luckily I know it's really tiny. But you can't really see if your back end is close to the car behind you. Lameee.
I'll start off by talking about today real quick since only one thing interesting really happened. Well I guess I could say a few things.
First thing which really made my day was this little raccoon guy that I found out on my porchhh. He was so cute. I wanted to pet him and keep his fluffy, cute little teddy bear ear self but I am obviously smart enough not to. He acted friendly but I'm afraid he would of been mean if there was nothing in between him, Kiki and myself. He probably would of torn my kitty to pieces. I don't even know if it was a boy.. just seems cuter to think so I guess. I will probably post the short video clip I recorded of him/her once I upload it to youtube. Once Kailynn falls asleep. Hmhmhm.
Also today my parents left around 3 to watch Alaynie run track.. I guess she came up 4th but she was against all the good people from all the other schools. She's been really good at it, she came up 1st on 200 meeter hurdles the other time she went. I'm thinking it was her last track meet today because they gathered all the best kids to compete against one another. But yes, I had to be outside and wait for Aiden's bus to arrive since they weren't home.. the bus kinda tricked me because I swear he usually goes up the street beside our house not on the street in front. I was outback and heard a horn and ran up front to see if it was the bus, sure enough it was and the driver was already out and about to knock on the door. -.- Lamer. But yes while I was outback I had Kailynn with me.. I put her on the trampoline all by herself... at first she walked/ran and figured out that it was bouncy so she did tiny little hops. I climbed on and did slight little hops sitting down.. I figured little bounces won't hurt the baby. I hope not. <> Lol she loved it. I wish I recorded it but I still can't find my camcorder.. I used the camcorder on my cybershot camera to record the raccoon. That's about it for today.
Yesterday I went to my doctor's appointment, found out I gained 10 pounds.. I weighed 140 exactly. It's funny because I made sure I ate a lot so I know I would gain weight and not lose again.. I didn't want to gain that much weight though.. <> ugh. They have a new weight thing though so who knows if the old one was more correct or just failed or if this one is giving me some extra pounds.. before they had one of them old fashioned ones that had little weight things you move around.. this one is digital.. the next time I think will be more accurate as a way to find how much weight I gained since it's the same machine. I did all the usual crap, my doctor asked me if I found out if it was a boy or girl.. told her it's a boy. She told me a lot of her patients are having boys. Hahar. She had a hard time finding his heartbeat for some reason.. took her a couple minutes.. she kept getting mine. I told her I knew he's still alive because right before I walked in he was moving around.. than he kicked her little tool thing and she found it. lool. She also told me that the ultrasound figured my due date was the 21st not the 19th.. but my doctor sticks with the original date since it's close anyways. So I'm glad to hear that since that means my baby is where he's supposed to be at pretty much. =]] (I always get scared I'm not giving him enough essential nutrients.) The ultrasound pretty much said the same thing for Kailynn. She was due for the the 14th of August but they figured the 16th and she was born on the 18th. 4 days late. After my appointment I looked for my cell in my purse and thought I lost it.. all the nice nurses were trying to help me find it.. then one got the bright idea to use the offices phone to call it and see if we could hear it.. we didn't. I was afraid it might of fell out onto the seat in the waiting room and someone took it.. So I ended up using their phone to call my dad. My dad was like "forgot to grab your phone?".. it was in his van and he heard it ring in there -.- loll. Glad I didn't lose it.
After my appointment and once we got done eating dinner Brad and I went out driving to practice, k turns and parallels. I did two parallels and one K turn. I'm pretty much pro at K turns now.. I just need more confidence for parallels. One parallel was with only one car and the other I went in between two cars.. I was so proud of myself for making it in.. and I did it downtown in medium traffic. =] There was a car behind me before I could do it so when I signaled.. they pulled around me. I always got nervous of that idea.. having someone behind me and not knowing what to do.. I don't really need to do anything but use my turning signal so they know what I am attempting to do and they can just go around me.
I realized a lame thing about my car though.. you can't see the trunk from the inside front seat because of the way it's built.. luckily I know it's really tiny. But you can't really see if your back end is close to the car behind you. Lameee.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Bejeweled
Bleh, Bejeweled Blitz on facebook is highly addictive.. I've been wasting my life on it for the last few days.. once I start playing I want to keep playing a million times.. I get addicted to sudoku too. If I have book of them I have a hard time putting it down.
Roarrrrrr, I don't even want to update today.. because I know it will be really long so I just think I am going to ramble for this entry.. I will tell you how my day went tomorrow since tomorrow I won't be doing anything and probably won't have anything interesting to say anyways. I'm tired right now and really want to go to sleep.. hum, hum, hum... yeah I think I'll leave it as that. Goodnight.
Roarrrrrr, I don't even want to update today.. because I know it will be really long so I just think I am going to ramble for this entry.. I will tell you how my day went tomorrow since tomorrow I won't be doing anything and probably won't have anything interesting to say anyways. I'm tired right now and really want to go to sleep.. hum, hum, hum... yeah I think I'll leave it as that. Goodnight.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Can I Just Die?
I'm so irritated with life right now... it's not even funny. Nothing is barely ever going right.
So I today I called DMV like 23593820598 times and they wouldn't answer the effing phone.. I need the new number for the 5 hour course.. yup that's right. I'm going to have to go through that boring bullshit over again and pay another $30. I don't even knowwwwwwwwwwwww.
Jen is going to have to do it again as well since her's expires the same time mine does. Hopefully I can get her and Alyssa to sign up with me.. =\\
I was setting my appointment up for the road test online (hopefully if I can get ahold of DMV maybe they'll have something sooner? (nevermind I just confirmed my appointment because I'm too afraid someone else is going to take it and I have to do it even more later)) but.. online the only thing they have available is 2 months from now.. which is after my 5 hour expires. >=\ and the times are even lamer. either 2 pm or 11 am. How the eff am I going to find someone that is licensed to bring me there that early.. plus I will need someone to watch Kailynn.
Brad is fucking lame and pretty much took all his vacation days already except the week he's going to take off to help me with the baby.. and take care of Kailynn while I'm in the hospital.. so there's no way in getting him to help me out and I'm also pretty sure my dad can't get any days off because he's taken too many off for his broken knee. You need a licensed driver to be there with you...
So freaken lameeeeeeeeee, makes me want to cry in anger. Just another thing to tack onto my busy schedule. I'm so stressed out I'm crying.. I'm going to need a babysitter and a licensed driver for both things (5 hour and road test).. I can probably get a cab to the five hour and back home.. plus I'll have to find rides/babysitter for two more doctor appointments... ugh, I don't know. Kill me. I get so stressed because I think about every little thing that is effected by one little thing that happens.. it's like a domino effect.. because this effing thing doesn't freaken work a million other things are going to get more difficult... one thing falls and they all fall.
I have to like figure everything out ahead of time.. or at least list my options or somethingggggg (I'm a huge list fan, =x I like to be organized and have everything listed down so it's not all a mess in my head, helps me figure things out better and remember thingsss) -does-
I just left CJ a message on Facebook asking if she could maybe be my licensed driver for road test.. she's the only other person I know that has a license besides Brad and my dad and since they both can't take anymore work off she's my last hope.. Sighhhhhhhh. I really don't know who else I could askkkkkkkk. >=\\\
***As I was typing this out CJ messaged me back and said she can't... she has a suspended license.. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm screwed.
So I today I called DMV like 23593820598 times and they wouldn't answer the effing phone.. I need the new number for the 5 hour course.. yup that's right. I'm going to have to go through that boring bullshit over again and pay another $30. I don't even knowwwwwwwwwwwww.
Jen is going to have to do it again as well since her's expires the same time mine does. Hopefully I can get her and Alyssa to sign up with me.. =\\
I was setting my appointment up for the road test online (hopefully if I can get ahold of DMV maybe they'll have something sooner? (nevermind I just confirmed my appointment because I'm too afraid someone else is going to take it and I have to do it even more later)) but.. online the only thing they have available is 2 months from now.. which is after my 5 hour expires. >=\ and the times are even lamer. either 2 pm or 11 am. How the eff am I going to find someone that is licensed to bring me there that early.. plus I will need someone to watch Kailynn.
Brad is fucking lame and pretty much took all his vacation days already except the week he's going to take off to help me with the baby.. and take care of Kailynn while I'm in the hospital.. so there's no way in getting him to help me out and I'm also pretty sure my dad can't get any days off because he's taken too many off for his broken knee. You need a licensed driver to be there with you...
So freaken lameeeeeeeeee, makes me want to cry in anger. Just another thing to tack onto my busy schedule. I'm so stressed out I'm crying.. I'm going to need a babysitter and a licensed driver for both things (5 hour and road test).. I can probably get a cab to the five hour and back home.. plus I'll have to find rides/babysitter for two more doctor appointments... ugh, I don't know. Kill me. I get so stressed because I think about every little thing that is effected by one little thing that happens.. it's like a domino effect.. because this effing thing doesn't freaken work a million other things are going to get more difficult... one thing falls and they all fall.
I have to like figure everything out ahead of time.. or at least list my options or somethingggggg (I'm a huge list fan, =x I like to be organized and have everything listed down so it's not all a mess in my head, helps me figure things out better and remember thingsss) -does-
babysitter/ride?
Dr. Appointment #1: Tuesday 5-17-11 3:15 pm dad/dad
Dr. Appointment #2: Tuesday 6-14-11 3:00pm jen?/ dad, cab, myself illegally?
Dr. Appointment #3: 7-?-11 Still need to set up jen, alaynie?/dad, cab, myself illegally or maybe legally if I pass my road test because this appointment might be after I finally done my road test???
5 hour: Still need to set up (**needs to be before 7-6-11 when I have my road test) dad, alaynie?/dad, cab, myself illegally?
Road test: Wednesday 7-6-11 2:00 pm (**need to be there half an hour early) ?/maybe, hopefully CJ?
Dr. Appointment #2: Tuesday 6-14-11 3:00pm jen?/ dad, cab, myself illegally?
Dr. Appointment #3: 7-?-11 Still need to set up jen, alaynie?/dad, cab, myself illegally or maybe legally if I pass my road test because this appointment might be after I finally done my road test???
5 hour: Still need to set up (**needs to be before 7-6-11 when I have my road test) dad, alaynie?/dad, cab, myself illegally?
Road test: Wednesday 7-6-11 2:00 pm (**need to be there half an hour early) ?/maybe, hopefully CJ?
I just left CJ a message on Facebook asking if she could maybe be my licensed driver for road test.. she's the only other person I know that has a license besides Brad and my dad and since they both can't take anymore work off she's my last hope.. Sighhhhhhhh. I really don't know who else I could askkkkkkkk. >=\\\
***As I was typing this out CJ messaged me back and said she can't... she has a suspended license.. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm screwed.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Lots of Appointments
Rah, I hate looking for someone to watch Kailynn for me so that I can go to appointments. >=\ It's going to get real stressful when I have to go like every week just for my doctor.. at like the last month of pregnancy you see the doctor more often. I wish my doctor was available at different hours throughout the day during the week but like the latest I think I can make an appointment is at 3 pm and that's like when everyone either goes to work or gets out or is just plain busy. Plus I don't know what would be a good time for like everyone elseeeee. Ugh, I should probably do appointments at like noon..
I need someone to watch Kailynn around 3 pm for Tuesday... my appointment is at 3:15 pm and it will probably only take half an hour.. which is makes it kinda more frustrating because it's only a short amount of timeee. The only thing my doctor does is ask me a couple questions, measure my tummy and look for the baby's heart beat to make sure he's still alive and his heart is strong or whatever... she counts the beats. The nurse just weighs me and takes my blood pressure and tests my pee.
-Alyssa I think usually works 4 pm - 10pm (I already asked her to babysit but she is afraid it's going to take longer than half an hour and she'll be late for work)
-Dad like 5am- 3pm (I could probably ask himmm but that'll be real close too because he needs to pick up kids from school and take Alyssa to work)
-Mom.. I have no idea. I'm guessing completely random, whenever my grandma needs her.
-Brads got mandatory overtime this week because they are falling behind on work they need to get done.. I really don't get how they can make it mandatory.. what if you had another job you needed to go to after that one.
-Jen babysits Adumbs nephew.. not really sure what time she needs to be there for him..
I need someone to watch Kailynn around 3 pm for Tuesday... my appointment is at 3:15 pm and it will probably only take half an hour.. which is makes it kinda more frustrating because it's only a short amount of timeee. The only thing my doctor does is ask me a couple questions, measure my tummy and look for the baby's heart beat to make sure he's still alive and his heart is strong or whatever... she counts the beats. The nurse just weighs me and takes my blood pressure and tests my pee.
-Alyssa I think usually works 4 pm - 10pm (I already asked her to babysit but she is afraid it's going to take longer than half an hour and she'll be late for work)
-Dad like 5am- 3pm (I could probably ask himmm but that'll be real close too because he needs to pick up kids from school and take Alyssa to work)
-Mom.. I have no idea. I'm guessing completely random, whenever my grandma needs her.
-Brads got mandatory overtime this week because they are falling behind on work they need to get done.. I really don't get how they can make it mandatory.. what if you had another job you needed to go to after that one.
-Jen babysits Adumbs nephew.. not really sure what time she needs to be there for him..
"So I will just say I have to do the bus on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Adumb's mom doesn't work on Wednesday and Thursday and I babysit on the weekends."
andddd that's like my only possible babysitters.. or people I trust to babysit. humm. I fail. Brad fails.. he has like no family or friends that care really for Kailynn. The only person I really trust Kailynn with on his side is Brad's step dad and he works till 3 pm or Brad's aunt Brenda but we only see her on Christmas so I think it'd be kinda rude to ask her randomly to babysit Kailynn and I barely know her. I know she's a really nice lady that wasn't able to have her own kids and she used to babysit Devin a lot when Brad's mom and step dad needed a babysitter. She took real good care of Devin.. she has like 3 albums of photos of stuff they did with him.
I also should go back on wic to help pay for formula. (Formula is soooo expensive..) You get an appointment with them every 3 months. I can bring Kailynn to that but ughhhhh, it will be a pain when he pops out and I have to take/carry two rugrats to that. Well it probably won't be that difficult at first since he'll probably sleep the majority of the time.
Plus Kailynn I think still has Dr. appointments, just to make sure she's healthy I think... I know she has one when she turns 2. I'm pretty sure my doctor says she won't be getting anymore shots till she's ready to go to school. I don't know.. I'm guessing she wasn't thinking about flu shots.
When the baby is out I'll have his appointments AND mine to go to. Grrrrrr.
Life was so much easier without appointments and kids. >=\\ I figured it'd be so much easier to go to the appointments having a car.. I wasn't thinking that I need a babysitter to go along with it too.
Edit: I just found out that I'm not invited to read Jen's journal anymore.. she must of made it private so Adumb can't read it. Lol, loser better figure out how to invite meeee. =[
I also just found out that Brad will be taking my car to work until he can get his radiator fixed on his car.. his engine keeps steaming up. Lameeee >=\ but he said he'll take me out practicing after work every time he uses it so I guess that's a good deal.. Heh, but Tuesday I'll probably have to drop him off work when he comes back for break.. so that I can have it to go to my appointment or if I need to pick someone up or whateverrrrrr. I really don't know how I'm going to go to my appointment if I can't find a babysitter. I really hope a cop doesn't pull me over if I'm going to have to do all this illegal driving. >=\
I also should go back on wic to help pay for formula. (Formula is soooo expensive..) You get an appointment with them every 3 months. I can bring Kailynn to that but ughhhhh, it will be a pain when he pops out and I have to take/carry two rugrats to that. Well it probably won't be that difficult at first since he'll probably sleep the majority of the time.
Plus Kailynn I think still has Dr. appointments, just to make sure she's healthy I think... I know she has one when she turns 2. I'm pretty sure my doctor says she won't be getting anymore shots till she's ready to go to school. I don't know.. I'm guessing she wasn't thinking about flu shots.
When the baby is out I'll have his appointments AND mine to go to. Grrrrrr.
Life was so much easier without appointments and kids. >=\\ I figured it'd be so much easier to go to the appointments having a car.. I wasn't thinking that I need a babysitter to go along with it too.
Edit: I just found out that I'm not invited to read Jen's journal anymore.. she must of made it private so Adumb can't read it. Lol, loser better figure out how to invite meeee. =[
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I also just found out that Brad will be taking my car to work until he can get his radiator fixed on his car.. his engine keeps steaming up. Lameeee >=\ but he said he'll take me out practicing after work every time he uses it so I guess that's a good deal.. Heh, but Tuesday I'll probably have to drop him off work when he comes back for break.. so that I can have it to go to my appointment or if I need to pick someone up or whateverrrrrr. I really don't know how I'm going to go to my appointment if I can't find a babysitter. I really hope a cop doesn't pull me over if I'm going to have to do all this illegal driving. >=\
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Dad's 44th Birthdayy
Hm, well I haven't posted in a few days because Blogger has been lame, every time I was thinking about updating it'd be down. Nothing really exciting happened anyways in the last few days so hah!
Thursday I did a parallel in front of my house with my dad's help.. I only did one though because it was starting to rain and I was getting wet with the window down and the ac wasn't really doing anything.. not sure if I'm working it right xD
I'm thinking about calling DMV on Monday to get my drivers test donee. CJ told me that you can't do it over the phone though, so I don't know.. I'll try anyways.
Tuesday I have a doctors appointment.. I need to start eating like a pig so I know for sure I gained weight.. ugh. I eat something whenever I feel hungry but I still don't think I'm gaining anything really.. even though my baby bump is big.
I just realized I have a lot of running around to do this week if they don't let me set up my drivers test thing over phone.. I'm running out of prenatal vitamins so I need to go to rite aid, I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday and I possibly need to go to DMV. Roar, and I probably will have to do it illegally by driving myself since Brad has mandatory overtime and most places close before he gets out.
Today is my dad's birthday.. have no idea what he's doing for it but he's not home currently. I wished him a happy birthday.. I don't think I got my mom anything for her birthday so I don't think I'm going to get him anything.. otherwise she'll get jealous thinking he's my favorite and junk... Maybe I'll buy something they'll both like and use it as a combined gift.. I don't know.
Today we went to walmart to pick up some things we needed. I got a bunch of clothes, some for me, some for Kailynn, and some for Alex. It was actually kinda fun to do some boy clothes shopping for Alex. <3 I'm kinda excited to have a boy. =]] It'll definitely be a whole new cute/interesting experience.
Today Devin went to a birthday party and came home with his face like beat red.. he got his face painted.. they must of tried washing it off before letting them go home, guess the red was harder to wash off. So I washed the rest off so we could go to walmart looking normal.. He had like a line on both sides of his face that looked like really bad scratches far away. I guess it was like a Fear Factor themed party too.. they had to put their hands in icky stuff blind folded. That's all I was told.
Thursday I did a parallel in front of my house with my dad's help.. I only did one though because it was starting to rain and I was getting wet with the window down and the ac wasn't really doing anything.. not sure if I'm working it right xD
I'm thinking about calling DMV on Monday to get my drivers test donee. CJ told me that you can't do it over the phone though, so I don't know.. I'll try anyways.
Tuesday I have a doctors appointment.. I need to start eating like a pig so I know for sure I gained weight.. ugh. I eat something whenever I feel hungry but I still don't think I'm gaining anything really.. even though my baby bump is big.
I just realized I have a lot of running around to do this week if they don't let me set up my drivers test thing over phone.. I'm running out of prenatal vitamins so I need to go to rite aid, I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday and I possibly need to go to DMV. Roar, and I probably will have to do it illegally by driving myself since Brad has mandatory overtime and most places close before he gets out.
Today is my dad's birthday.. have no idea what he's doing for it but he's not home currently. I wished him a happy birthday.. I don't think I got my mom anything for her birthday so I don't think I'm going to get him anything.. otherwise she'll get jealous thinking he's my favorite and junk... Maybe I'll buy something they'll both like and use it as a combined gift.. I don't know.
Today we went to walmart to pick up some things we needed. I got a bunch of clothes, some for me, some for Kailynn, and some for Alex. It was actually kinda fun to do some boy clothes shopping for Alex. <3 I'm kinda excited to have a boy. =]] It'll definitely be a whole new cute/interesting experience.
Today Devin went to a birthday party and came home with his face like beat red.. he got his face painted.. they must of tried washing it off before letting them go home, guess the red was harder to wash off. So I washed the rest off so we could go to walmart looking normal.. He had like a line on both sides of his face that looked like really bad scratches far away. I guess it was like a Fear Factor themed party too.. they had to put their hands in icky stuff blind folded. That's all I was told.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Yesterday I Practiced
Yesterday was a pretty day so I took Kailynn outside.. as usual she was a pain in the butt because she kept trying to get on the road. We desperately need a fenceee. It would make my life so much easier.. I've actually been thinking about just going to parks whenever I want to enjoy the outside and bring Kailynn with because they usually have fences around the park so kids can play safely. At least a lot of yard all around so I have time to catch her before she gets herself into any danger.. but that requires some gas because I am not going to lug Kailynn, myself, and Alex up a couple streets on a hot sunny day. I'd probably faint.
So yes, she's not really interested in "playing" outside.. she just wants to run around and explore. There was one cute moment when she let me hold her hand walking down the street but once we got to the end of the street she wanted to keep going so I had to lug her back all the way up the hill.
I put a cute little dress on her.. mostly yellow with pink/white splotches (maybe flowers).. and some monarch butterflies. It's adorable on her. When I put it on her I realized that once Alex is here it might be kinda hard for her to stay girly with two brothers.. =[ Lameeee. I'll have to be extra girly or something.. lol I imagine me and her in like 4 years going to get manis and pedis or just shopping together a lot. We'll do girly things together and let the boys do whatever they want to do.
Once I got tired of chasing her around I brought her up front... put her down for a second so I could throw her ball up onto our deck so I didn't have to lug that and Kailynn upstairs along with my camera, car keys, and cell phone since I didn't have any pockets. She found my parents glass ball decoration thing and it had chimes underneath so she was playing with those... I got distracted for a second because there was a really big pretty blue jay like 4 feet away from me and I was thinking about taking a picture of it. Than I heard a big smash and I looked behind me and the green glass ball was shattered into a million pieces next to Kailynn... so now I owe my parents a new glass ball. She didn't get hurt but I got a little piece of glass stuck inside my finger trying to clean it up.. it hurt and I was about to flip because I didn't think I was going to be able to get it out but I did. I brought Kailynn upstairs leaving the shattered ball there because she was trying to help clean it up, luckily Brad was getting out of work in a few minutes. Once he got home I told him what happened and went back down there to clean it up. I cleaned up as much as I could see, even really tiny little pieces because I didn't want my parent's cats to cut their feet on it. My parents didn't even really like that ball.. didn't go with the color scheme they are after.. so now I have to look for a silver or a burgundy one. Silver will probably be easier to find.
After I cleaned it up I went back upstairs, about an hour later I made dinner (Tacos) and about an hour after that I asked Brad to take me to go practice k turns and parallels.. at first he really didn't want to but I started crying because it doesn't really seem like anyone wants to help me and I NEED help and it needs to be soon. So we went to Allen park and pretended this chunk of concrete paving was a car because around it was black top paving so it looked kinda like the size of a car.. bad thing though.. it was right next to the ice rink so it was to the left side of me.. if you are doing parallels you would be parking to the right, not the left.. and I just realized that when I woke up this morning thinking about yesterday. Still I got the ball park idea on how to do it.. I did really good.. I just need to practice now with actual cars.. I'm pretty sure I can do it now. Than we went onto this street next to Allen park and I tried to do a K turn.. either the street was too narrow or I didn't turn my wheel all the way the first time (I'm not sure) because I ended up doing what CJ did on her test.. having to change my direction like four times instead of three. Than we went for another street that was wider and I would of done it perfectly but two cars were heading my way so I was kinda in a hurry and my back tires kinda hit the curb hard. Didn't help that Brad was like "OMGOSHJ GO FASTEROWQWET@#(%&@#%" Other than hitting the curb kinda hard I did it how you are supposed to... only three.
So I'm pretty confident now.. I think that if I had to take the test tomorrow I would pass. I think I was so scared of doing those because I only done them one each with the scary dude my grandma hired to teach me. Him alone scared the shit out of me, he was kinda mean and because he made me do everything I needed to know to pass the test.. which I never done prior.. Before I drove with him I only drove like a few times in little traffic in my neighborhood but he made me go to Lakewood in high traffic, park in a parking spot between two cars go to side streets to parallel and K turn.. I don't even think I knew I had to do a K turn or knew anything about it.
So yes, she's not really interested in "playing" outside.. she just wants to run around and explore. There was one cute moment when she let me hold her hand walking down the street but once we got to the end of the street she wanted to keep going so I had to lug her back all the way up the hill.
I put a cute little dress on her.. mostly yellow with pink/white splotches (maybe flowers).. and some monarch butterflies. It's adorable on her. When I put it on her I realized that once Alex is here it might be kinda hard for her to stay girly with two brothers.. =[ Lameeee. I'll have to be extra girly or something.. lol I imagine me and her in like 4 years going to get manis and pedis or just shopping together a lot. We'll do girly things together and let the boys do whatever they want to do.
Once I got tired of chasing her around I brought her up front... put her down for a second so I could throw her ball up onto our deck so I didn't have to lug that and Kailynn upstairs along with my camera, car keys, and cell phone since I didn't have any pockets. She found my parents glass ball decoration thing and it had chimes underneath so she was playing with those... I got distracted for a second because there was a really big pretty blue jay like 4 feet away from me and I was thinking about taking a picture of it. Than I heard a big smash and I looked behind me and the green glass ball was shattered into a million pieces next to Kailynn... so now I owe my parents a new glass ball. She didn't get hurt but I got a little piece of glass stuck inside my finger trying to clean it up.. it hurt and I was about to flip because I didn't think I was going to be able to get it out but I did. I brought Kailynn upstairs leaving the shattered ball there because she was trying to help clean it up, luckily Brad was getting out of work in a few minutes. Once he got home I told him what happened and went back down there to clean it up. I cleaned up as much as I could see, even really tiny little pieces because I didn't want my parent's cats to cut their feet on it. My parents didn't even really like that ball.. didn't go with the color scheme they are after.. so now I have to look for a silver or a burgundy one. Silver will probably be easier to find.
After I cleaned it up I went back upstairs, about an hour later I made dinner (Tacos) and about an hour after that I asked Brad to take me to go practice k turns and parallels.. at first he really didn't want to but I started crying because it doesn't really seem like anyone wants to help me and I NEED help and it needs to be soon. So we went to Allen park and pretended this chunk of concrete paving was a car because around it was black top paving so it looked kinda like the size of a car.. bad thing though.. it was right next to the ice rink so it was to the left side of me.. if you are doing parallels you would be parking to the right, not the left.. and I just realized that when I woke up this morning thinking about yesterday. Still I got the ball park idea on how to do it.. I did really good.. I just need to practice now with actual cars.. I'm pretty sure I can do it now. Than we went onto this street next to Allen park and I tried to do a K turn.. either the street was too narrow or I didn't turn my wheel all the way the first time (I'm not sure) because I ended up doing what CJ did on her test.. having to change my direction like four times instead of three. Than we went for another street that was wider and I would of done it perfectly but two cars were heading my way so I was kinda in a hurry and my back tires kinda hit the curb hard. Didn't help that Brad was like "OMGOSHJ GO FASTEROWQWET@#(%&@#%" Other than hitting the curb kinda hard I did it how you are supposed to... only three.
So I'm pretty confident now.. I think that if I had to take the test tomorrow I would pass. I think I was so scared of doing those because I only done them one each with the scary dude my grandma hired to teach me. Him alone scared the shit out of me, he was kinda mean and because he made me do everything I needed to know to pass the test.. which I never done prior.. Before I drove with him I only drove like a few times in little traffic in my neighborhood but he made me go to Lakewood in high traffic, park in a parking spot between two cars go to side streets to parallel and K turn.. I don't even think I knew I had to do a K turn or knew anything about it.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Spring Clean Up
Nothing really interesting to write today...
Stayed home all day and cleaned..
Brad got irritated at work and came home at 4:30 pm again.
Since it's spring clean up time he tossed this table we had on our deck and the old entertainment center we had out onto the curb, hopefully they'll take it.. my dad has a bunch of garbage bags full of Alyssa's junk I guess out there. I hope he didn't throw out anything she wanted.. I'd be pissed if he did that to me.. =|
Stayed home all day and cleaned..
Brad got irritated at work and came home at 4:30 pm again.
Since it's spring clean up time he tossed this table we had on our deck and the old entertainment center we had out onto the curb, hopefully they'll take it.. my dad has a bunch of garbage bags full of Alyssa's junk I guess out there. I hope he didn't throw out anything she wanted.. I'd be pissed if he did that to me.. =|
Monday, May 9, 2011
Random Walk with CJ
Todayyy was a pretty good day. CJ called me around 4 pm because she was bored and was just sitting outside reading. She told me she was hungry.. I offered her a hot pocket, lol. She decided to come down here to give me company. Brad ended up coming home early too, they both arrived here at the same time.
So we ended up going for a walk around a couple blocks since Kailynn was asleep and Brad was home.. When we got on Willard CJ stopped and talked to some dude that she knew.. I want to say his name was Matt. I'm not sure, I forgot. <> He seemed cool.. While we were talking a dude walked by us and CJ's friend told us that he's a child molester.. and has a doberman dog that he walks.. as soon as he said that he had a doberman I got kinda nervous.. not many people here have dobermans.. & I'm always seeing a guy walking a doberman around my place. I feel like I should warn my parents.. since my sister's are always running around outside.. I probably will once I get done writing this. So after a little more chit chat with Matt or whomever, we continued on walking back to my place... sat at the picnic table my parents have set outside and talked more about random junk. Than CJ left because Corry was on his way to pick her up..
I went back upstairs and Brad woke Kailynn up so that we could go get groceries. It's kinda funny because Brad and I were kinda both kinda excited to do grocery shopping with my car since it has a trunk that actually works.. Brad's back door handle on his truck was broken ever since we got it so it was always a pain in the butt to pack groceries in it. It's funny because it's such a simple little thing we were looking forward too.
We spent way too much on groceries.. Tops must be a lot more expensive than Walmart because we don't usually spend that much money on one weeks worth of groceries when we go to Walmart.
The cashier dude was really talkative/friendly. He gave Kailynn an orange paid sticker, lol I put it on her nose and she took it off and put it on mine.
I think I'm finally good with reversing... I just needed to read crap to figure it out since Brad wasn't very good at teaching me nicely. >=\ I pulled out of my parking spot going the right direction =]]
So we ended up going for a walk around a couple blocks since Kailynn was asleep and Brad was home.. When we got on Willard CJ stopped and talked to some dude that she knew.. I want to say his name was Matt. I'm not sure, I forgot. <> He seemed cool.. While we were talking a dude walked by us and CJ's friend told us that he's a child molester.. and has a doberman dog that he walks.. as soon as he said that he had a doberman I got kinda nervous.. not many people here have dobermans.. & I'm always seeing a guy walking a doberman around my place. I feel like I should warn my parents.. since my sister's are always running around outside.. I probably will once I get done writing this. So after a little more chit chat with Matt or whomever, we continued on walking back to my place... sat at the picnic table my parents have set outside and talked more about random junk. Than CJ left because Corry was on his way to pick her up..
I went back upstairs and Brad woke Kailynn up so that we could go get groceries. It's kinda funny because Brad and I were kinda both kinda excited to do grocery shopping with my car since it has a trunk that actually works.. Brad's back door handle on his truck was broken ever since we got it so it was always a pain in the butt to pack groceries in it. It's funny because it's such a simple little thing we were looking forward too.
We spent way too much on groceries.. Tops must be a lot more expensive than Walmart because we don't usually spend that much money on one weeks worth of groceries when we go to Walmart.
The cashier dude was really talkative/friendly. He gave Kailynn an orange paid sticker, lol I put it on her nose and she took it off and put it on mine.
I think I'm finally good with reversing... I just needed to read crap to figure it out since Brad wasn't very good at teaching me nicely. >=\ I pulled out of my parking spot going the right direction =]]
Yesterday was Mother's Day
Yesterday was a pretty good day.. besides me being sick the night before.. I barely got any sleep.. so I slept in a little since Brad was home. Brad eventually woke me up with two cards in his hands. <3 One from "Kailynn" and one from him. So cute. I love him.
So I got two cards, a car, and dinner at Pizza Hut for Mother's Day.. One of the best days everrrrr in my opinion.
Before we left for Pizza Hut we noticed the parents were also trying to figure out where to go to eat so we kinda tried to do something together but I don't think the parents wanted to go out to Lakewood but we needed to because we had to take a battery thing back that would help pay for dinner. I drove with my carrrrrr. Brad got annoyed with me again. >=\ He says I stop too abruptly and I know I don't... I slowly come to a stop until it finally stopss and there's like barely any jerk. I wish he'd ride with CJ.. that was bad breaking. <3 Hahar. Love her though.
Is it really dumb to get confused on driving reverse? I don't know for some reason I don't know which way to turn my wheel if I want to reverse and turn to get out of like a parking spot.. Ugh. It makes me feel really dumb. Brad just usually flips out on me if I turn the opposite direction he wants me to go.. that doesn't help.. makes me forget what I did and I can't learn from it. Sigh.. He wanted me to "straighten out my car" when I parked at Pizza Hut it looked straight to me so I pulled out and did it again.. What he meant was he wanted me to park closer to the vehicle beside us cause he thought I was too close to the other side. He fails at talking car lingo to me. =\\
I don't like driving with him.
Right = right left = left just like going forwardssssssss. I think I get confused because I realize that the front is going the opposite direction so it drives my senses whack.
So I got two cards, a car, and dinner at Pizza Hut for Mother's Day.. One of the best days everrrrr in my opinion.
Before we left for Pizza Hut we noticed the parents were also trying to figure out where to go to eat so we kinda tried to do something together but I don't think the parents wanted to go out to Lakewood but we needed to because we had to take a battery thing back that would help pay for dinner. I drove with my carrrrrr. Brad got annoyed with me again. >=\ He says I stop too abruptly and I know I don't... I slowly come to a stop until it finally stopss and there's like barely any jerk. I wish he'd ride with CJ.. that was bad breaking. <3 Hahar. Love her though.
Is it really dumb to get confused on driving reverse? I don't know for some reason I don't know which way to turn my wheel if I want to reverse and turn to get out of like a parking spot.. Ugh. It makes me feel really dumb. Brad just usually flips out on me if I turn the opposite direction he wants me to go.. that doesn't help.. makes me forget what I did and I can't learn from it. Sigh.. He wanted me to "straighten out my car" when I parked at Pizza Hut it looked straight to me so I pulled out and did it again.. What he meant was he wanted me to park closer to the vehicle beside us cause he thought I was too close to the other side. He fails at talking car lingo to me. =\\
I don't like driving with him.
Right = right left = left just like going forwardssssssss. I think I get confused because I realize that the front is going the opposite direction so it drives my senses whack.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
The Sun is Shining
And it makes me want to drive somewhere really bad but I have no where I need/should go. Sigh.. I want to practice.. I could probably practice right in front of the house but Brad doesn't seem to want to watch Kailynn. He's grilling/drinking/listening to music right now.
Grr, I can't wait to get this test over withhhhhhh and I won't ever have to worry about doing a K turn or parallel ever again if I don't need to or at least be judge on how well I do..
I want one of them new ford car things that automatically parallels for you.. lol me and Brad were watching the commercial and he was saying it was something that I need.. too bad it didn't come out ten years earlier so that maybe we could afford it.. my car is ten years old.. I said I wish I could get my hand on one now and let it do it and pretend I'm the one doing it. Hahar -cheat-
I have no idea where my parents went for the day.. they left early and are still not home... I'm guessing they went to Erie to celebrate Mother's Day or something.. probably went out to eat at Golden Coral.. omgosh that sounds so yummy. I wish they had one closer.. I just looked it up and the Erie one is indeed the closest. Boo =[ I'm too scared to drive in Erie traffic for now, it's kinda crazy.
I changed my background to a cute brightly colored clown-like girl. I like ittt. Cuteness.
Ughh, I am so hungryyyyyy. Brad is grilling hot doggies, yum.
Grr, I can't wait to get this test over withhhhhhh and I won't ever have to worry about doing a K turn or parallel ever again if I don't need to or at least be judge on how well I do..
I want one of them new ford car things that automatically parallels for you.. lol me and Brad were watching the commercial and he was saying it was something that I need.. too bad it didn't come out ten years earlier so that maybe we could afford it.. my car is ten years old.. I said I wish I could get my hand on one now and let it do it and pretend I'm the one doing it. Hahar -cheat-
I have no idea where my parents went for the day.. they left early and are still not home... I'm guessing they went to Erie to celebrate Mother's Day or something.. probably went out to eat at Golden Coral.. omgosh that sounds so yummy. I wish they had one closer.. I just looked it up and the Erie one is indeed the closest. Boo =[ I'm too scared to drive in Erie traffic for now, it's kinda crazy.
I changed my background to a cute brightly colored clown-like girl. I like ittt. Cuteness.
Ughh, I am so hungryyyyyy. Brad is grilling hot doggies, yum.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Finally Got My Car
Yay, I am happy now because my car is finally mine and is staying here forever. =]
Except Brad is taking it to work tomorrow so he can show it off. -.-
And the dealer guy took off the filter thing that was broken in front and gluing that back together so he's going to pick that up after work. =] I don't really get why the dealer guy feels like he needs to do it... figured it would be something little I had to take care of.
One lame thing though is he didn't fix the fuel gauge.. so I won't really know how much gas I have until it dings when it's low or check the high techness of it... it like tells you everything about the car on the dash thing. Like if your tire pressure is good, how many miles you can go with the gas in the tank, how good the oil is... etc. Neat stuff. <3
My first letters on my plate is FML... lol.. eff my life. Brad's is FML too. Brad put these cover things on the plates to make them darkish and better looking. Stupid, ugly orangish/yellow New York plates.
I might go out and play with the lights when everyone is asleep. xD
Except Brad is taking it to work tomorrow so he can show it off. -.-
And the dealer guy took off the filter thing that was broken in front and gluing that back together so he's going to pick that up after work. =] I don't really get why the dealer guy feels like he needs to do it... figured it would be something little I had to take care of.
One lame thing though is he didn't fix the fuel gauge.. so I won't really know how much gas I have until it dings when it's low or check the high techness of it... it like tells you everything about the car on the dash thing. Like if your tire pressure is good, how many miles you can go with the gas in the tank, how good the oil is... etc. Neat stuff. <3
My first letters on my plate is FML... lol.. eff my life. Brad's is FML too. Brad put these cover things on the plates to make them darkish and better looking. Stupid, ugly orangish/yellow New York plates.
I might go out and play with the lights when everyone is asleep. xD
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Kailynn is a Turd.
I will be so freaken mad if my car isn't done tomorrow.. Brad's not sure if DMV is open on weekends.. It's supposed to be my mother's day present which is this Sunday. =\ I just looked it up online and it isn't open on the weekend.. WTF. I feel like a little brat wanting my car but I really don't think it should take this long for them to fix it.
Brad came home today during lunch and said he swore he saw someone driving my car. Seems like they are just joy riding with it.. the guy told Brad that they pretty much added 400 (that seems pretty extreme) more miles to the car trying to get the lights to come off because some lights need to run a bit in order to shut off. He also said he's taken it to a few different people and the guy who is going to look at it tomorrow thinks he knows what's wrong. He better know.
I'm just really annoyed right now.. stupid car isn't back yet and Kailynn was a turd earlier so I couldn't really enjoy hanging out with my friends. CJ, Jen, and I went to Alfies for dinner. It was pretty expensive. CJ works there. It was my first time eating there. I had lasagna and it was good, I ordered Kailynn chicken fingers and fries but she barely touched it. Kailynn wasn't in a very good mood probably because she barely got to nap. She had apple juice and was having fun drinking out of that out of the straw, than she threw that to the floor and left a big wet spot. Kailynn just wanted to run around so she cried/screamed because she didn't want to be in the highchair. CJ was trying to make her happy with random things in her purse... first it was her keys, than it was like a bottle of pills that had a childproof lock so she wasn't in any type of danger. Also gave her a can of soup. Those didn't entertain her very long. Than CJ got her a picture and crayons to color.. that lasted like ten minutes before they were thrown to the ground with everything else. I was embarrassed. Finally we left for a little trip to get cheap cigs and gas. Than got dropped off home and wanted to pass out as soon as I got inside but I did not, I just laid in bed for a few minutes.
P.s. Jen, you didn't get your salad...
Brad came home today during lunch and said he swore he saw someone driving my car. Seems like they are just joy riding with it.. the guy told Brad that they pretty much added 400 (that seems pretty extreme) more miles to the car trying to get the lights to come off because some lights need to run a bit in order to shut off. He also said he's taken it to a few different people and the guy who is going to look at it tomorrow thinks he knows what's wrong. He better know.
I'm just really annoyed right now.. stupid car isn't back yet and Kailynn was a turd earlier so I couldn't really enjoy hanging out with my friends. CJ, Jen, and I went to Alfies for dinner. It was pretty expensive. CJ works there. It was my first time eating there. I had lasagna and it was good, I ordered Kailynn chicken fingers and fries but she barely touched it. Kailynn wasn't in a very good mood probably because she barely got to nap. She had apple juice and was having fun drinking out of that out of the straw, than she threw that to the floor and left a big wet spot. Kailynn just wanted to run around so she cried/screamed because she didn't want to be in the highchair. CJ was trying to make her happy with random things in her purse... first it was her keys, than it was like a bottle of pills that had a childproof lock so she wasn't in any type of danger. Also gave her a can of soup. Those didn't entertain her very long. Than CJ got her a picture and crayons to color.. that lasted like ten minutes before they were thrown to the ground with everything else. I was embarrassed. Finally we left for a little trip to get cheap cigs and gas. Than got dropped off home and wanted to pass out as soon as I got inside but I did not, I just laid in bed for a few minutes.
P.s. Jen, you didn't get your salad...
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